Tune Your Bad Boyfriend Radar

He gives you butterflies in your stomach, but he didn’t give you a valentine. He’s handsome, but his camera is filled with his own self-portraits. He’s a great kisser, but he’s also been kissing girls all over town. He has the most advanced cell phone in the modern world, but never remembers to call you. I know he’s your boyfriend and all, but could he actually…suck? If he’s one of these guys, the answer is yes:

The Undependable:
This guy is filled with the best of intentions and the worst in follow-through. Known for his uncanny ability to over-promise and under-deliver, he’ll fill your life with imaginary vacations, gifts he almost purchased, and thoughtful things that he almost said.

Normal habitat: At least ten minutes late for wherever he’s actually supposed to be, but only because he has a really excellent excuse that is in no way a lie.

The Island:
This guy doesn’t let the fact that he doesn’t like relationships prevent him from starting them, but don’t expect to unpack your bags during your little visit into his life. Known for disappearing on trips where he is completely incommunicado (apparently the Internet hasn’t gotten to Europe yet, weird huh?) and his complete lack of human emotions, the longest relationship this man will ever have is with his cell phone carrier.

Normal habitat: I don’t know, babe. Don’t ask me so many questions, it makes you look insecure.

The Mirror Image
This guy thinks you’re so awesome that he doesn’t just want to be with you, he wants to be the male version of you. Your favorite movies, books, catch phrases and friends aren’t yours anymore. They belong to both of you.

Normal habitat: Right behind you. Next to you. In your head. On your Facebook wall. Up in your everything, all the time.

The Bitter One
You know, the guy who is like vinegar to the oil of your life. Not the best analogy? How about the guy who is the storm cloud to your sunshine? Let’s put it this way: if nothing makes this guy happy, you probably won’t either.

Normal habitat: Just sitting around, hating life, your friends and your new haircut. You know, the usual.

The Gay One:
Hey, it happens.

Normal habitat: Just being the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, except for the fact he likes dudes.

We’ve all had bad boyfriends before: what do you keep an eye out for?

Sympatico Image


Tags: advice, bad boyfriends, boyfriends, dating advice, field guide, Relationships

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