Thinking About Moving in Together?

You can’t bear to be apart. When he’s not sleeping over at your place, you’re waking up at his. Your closet looks half empty because you’re continually shuffling your wardrobe essentials back and forth. You’re growing tired of your co-worker’s knowing glances every time you show up for work carrying an overnight bag. This is starting to become inconvenient, but does that mean you’re ready to move in together?

If you are unsure about whether to take the leap, here are five things you should ask yourself:

1) Are you still in the Honeymoon phase?
Sure everything is perfect right now. But, what happens when you have your first fight? It’s important that you have experience resolving conflicts within your relationship prior to moving in together. Fights happen. Once you’re living together it’s not like you can just slam the door and “go home.”

2) Are you ready to enter the Man-Cave?
Everyone has bizarre habits and quirks that they hide from the person they’re trying to impress. When you move in together, all masks are off.  You might find out that he likes to leave toilet seats in the upright position or beard trimmings in the sink. Or, you may discover that he has an extensive Lord of the Rings action figure collection that he never felt comfortable sharing with you until now. However weird or annoying, you’re going to have to accept these kinds of things about each other and work through them.

3) Are you ready to share your personal space and compromise when necessary?
You may think you are always right but, the “my way or the highway” approach doesn’t make a healthy foundation for co-habitation. Living together requires sharing and compromise. Sometimes that means giving up that extra bit of drawer space or turning a blind eye at the Aragorn figurine that has suddenly taken up residence in your living room.

4) Are you ready to have your partner see you at your worst?
Not every day is going to be full of sunshine, pretty cupcakes and perfect blowouts (but wouldn’t that be nice?). There are going to be bad hair days, laundry days (where you will wear that one pair of underwear that you hoped no one would ever see) and sick days spent staring into the toilet, cursing your decision to try that new sushi place. Just be sure that he’s willing to hold your hair back.

5) Are you ready to build a life together?
For this to work, you need to share a mutual interest in building a relationship together. Don’t move in with someone purely for financial convenience (we’ve all contemplated at some point how many shoes we’d be able to buy if only we could split our rent in half) or because you feel pressured by your partner (Speidi. Case and Point).

If you answer “no” to any of these questions, it might mean that you’re not ready to take that next step. In the meantime, enjoy living independently. Use that extra closet just for your shoe collection. Truly get to know your partner. When you’re ready to move in together, your relationship will be that much stronger.