So, you find yourself in a long term relationship. You are joyfully past the awkward dating phase that preoccupied your life there for a while and now you’ve found ‘the one’ and you can hardly believe your eternal blissful state, right? Yeah, sure.
Those that have been in long term relationships know that the embers fade. It’s not that you stop caring or being interested, it’s that the excitement and enticement of the new begins to fade and well, you find yourself settling into the dreaded routine. But the good news is, there are ways to keep the flames burning bright.
Fight fair:
Nothing is a bigger relationship killer than a nasty fight. So, be reasonable and try to listen more than you talk. Believe it or not, you’re with this person because you actually like them, so try to keep that in mind. Fighting fair means no regret or residual baggage after the fight is over. And that means less roadblocks to keeping the connection between the two of you alive.
Get creative:
It’s easy to fall into a routine. Work, cook dinner, put the kids to bed. Sleep. And as with all routines, this gets boring. Fast. So, think of creative ways to change things up for the two of you. Take a weekend trip on the fly. Book Friday morning and leave after work. Listen to what interests your partner and surprise them with a day designed just for them. Whatever you choose, big or small, bring the spontaneity back to your relationship and consistently. Don’t make the creative effort a one-hit wonder. Keep at it.
Turn it off:
In the world of iPhones, blackberries and every other imaginable piece of technology out there, its easy to tune out and just quickly answer an email but if that was a mood killer when you were dating, it’s sure going to be a mood killer now too. Consider turning it off. All of it and focus instead on your partner. Taking ten minutes out of your day to really listen and have a meaningful conversation with your partner will keep you connected long-term.
