Too much fighting is never healthy for a relationship. Yes, it shows you still care and have passion in your relationship, but there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Some couples work best by coming to blows over their issues, and that is how they resolve things. But, when those blows become a little too low with name calling and yelling, it is time to reevaluate your methods. Here are some things to think about before getting into your next heated sparring match with your partner.
Take a moment
It is human nature to respond with anger and frustration after you and your partner have got into an argument. You are twice as likely to say something you regret in the heat of the moment. It is always good practice to give yourself a cool-down period before discussing things further. Whether it is on the phone, or face-to-face, give yourself time to process. It is easier said than done. Not many people can separate themselves from an argument and realize the back and forth is spiraling out of control. A sure sign that you need to take some time to decompress is when the name calling and swearing starts. Don’t disregard your partners concerns; just say that you want to revisit this in an hour or later in the day. Things may get heated when you revisit the conversation, but hopefully you both will be calmer and be in a clearer state of mind.
Communicate through the chaos
Even if things get bad real quick, try to let your partner know that you acknowledge and understand what they are saying. You both are entitled to have differing views, but if you care about each other’s feelings, you would do well to let them know you hear what they are saying. Don’t just say, I get what you are saying, as sometimes those can be empty words. Express to your partner that you understand and see how their points apply to the situation. In turn, they will hopefully be more inclined to see your side of things, and the argument will become a bit more civilized.
Be wary of your body language
Sometimes, as the saying goes, actions can speak louder than words. If you are have your back turned to your partner or are turning away from him while you are seated, it will show him you are not invested in working through the argument. If you roll your eyes, or through your arms up in protest, the situation will only go down hill. Try to keep your cool and sit facing him square on, so he knows you are listening to what he has to say. The same goes for your guy, if he is looking at his phone or is distracted, that shows you he is not trying his hardest to work through the problem with you. Show each other the respect you both deserve and thing will be resolved quickly and more amicably.
Say something to lighten the mood
This does not apply to all arguments and fights, but can help things to move along. When the opportunity presents itself or the time is right, provide a little comic relief to the situation by throwing in a funny comment. It is also your chance to remind your man of the funny morning you had together, or something that you think is cute about him. Inside jokes come in handy here, but only when the moment calls for it. Be careful not to through your partner off with your light-hearted remark. You don’t want him to think you are trying to change the subject, you just want to try to relieve some of the tension.