How to Be the Perfect Wingwoman

Trying to pick someone up is like Battleship. You send out a blind call hoping for a hit, but it’s only after you’ve missed that you find out your missile was a dud. A good wingwoman acts as a peek at the other person’s grid: you might not get the whole picture, but you have a better idea of where to aim. Read on for easy ways to be a better compass for your pal in the oldest sink or swim of all.

Do create opportunities

Robin from How I Met Your Mother had the right idea when she told a girl her friend was eyeing that she was going home with him. Men and women love competition, especially if it seems like an easy victory. But creating a way to connect your friend with the object of their desire can even be as simple as accidentally bumping them while your friend’s nearby with steady hands. Just keep your eyes open.

Don’t ply them with alcohol

Liquid courage won’t do you any favours if liquid comes spewing out of your friend’s mouth instead of the perfect opening words you discussed. If you know your pal is the type to load up when they get nervous, get them in the game as soon as possible and volunteer to hold their drink at every opportunity.

Do take the fall (sometimes)

Is it ideal to have to relive the time you drunkenly went ass over tea kettle in a melted McFlurry puddle and your friend had to carry you home while you called the Hamburglar a bitch? Probably not, but it makes them look like a freakin’ saint.

Don’t oversell

Creating expectations your friend doesn’t have a hope in hell of living up to will just make them look like an idiot. It’s okay to exaggerate a little: maybe you aren’t actively jealous of your friend’s perfect legs, but the guy who’s about to buy her a drink doesn’t have to know that. But keep that line tucked away if she’s prone to shapeless pants.

Do consider what would work for you

If you’re often the resident wingwoman, think about which of your friend’s features would be attractive to you. Specific ones like an undefeated Mario Kart rep may not be your best bet. But general characteristics like guitar skills or a heart of gold make great openers if you can match them with a loudly reminiscent anecdote right next to the target.

Don’t lie

Sure, it might get you an in, but you’ll fall way out of play if you get caught. It just isn’t worth the risk. Besides, if your friend’s aiming for more than a one-nighter, the truth is bound to come out at some point. And when it does, you’ll go down with them as the one who started it all.

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Tags: alcohol, bar, Battleship, binge, boyfriend, couple, Dating, drink, friend, girlfriend, lie, line, opportunity, pal, pick up, pickup, Relationships, Sarah Robinson, truth, wingman, wingwoman

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