Almost every girl goes through one really bad breakup in her life “ that split from your boyfriend of six years, catching your guy cheating (with your best friend!), and even broken wedding engagements. But regardless of how messy, ugly and painful the breakup was, eventually you are going to have to pick yourself up and move on with your life. And, hopefully, you will learn some things about yourself while handling this bad breakup that will help you appreciate how great you are, whether in a relationship or single. Here are some simple steps that may help you get past a bad breakup.
Let it go.
Even if you know he is your one, true, deep love and that if he could only realize that “ stop. You know the feeling, but you have got to let it go. This is very, very difficult after a bad breakup, but the only way you will ever move on is to acknowledge that it is over and let go. Not that you won’t have to spend some time having a pity party for yourself, but you need to handle your bad break up by moving past obsessing over your lost love and scheming to get him back. Learning how to let things go can only help you as you move through life.
Find something new.
Distract yourself from your bad breakup! Take a cooking class, start jogging, volunteer for the homeless, adopt a kitten. Find something to distract yourself so that you don’t obsess over the break up. If you can find something to do that you never tried because of your ex (he hates to ski, is allergic to cats, won’t drink French wine) so much the better. You may find a sense of freedom in being, well, free. And you may also find a terrific new hobby that you really enjoy (who knew you would be such a great pastry chef!)
Get out of the house.
Don’t handle a bad breakup by sitting around in your pajamas, sobbing over pictures of your ex while you go over and over in your mind what you could have done differently to avoid this break up. It’s done and nothing you can do will change that, so put on your big girl pants and get out of your house. Fix your hair, do your makeup, and go somewhere “ the mall, the grocery store, the movies, it doesn’t matter (except his house, don’t drive by his house. Please.) You may find you actually like being on your own for a change, just walking out the door without a plan and without having to let anyone else know where you are going or what you are doing.
Be nice (to yourself and others.)
This is a two part step for you when handling a bad breakup “ first, be nice to yourself. Don’t eat an entire pizza, drink two bottles of wine, stay up all night crying or engage in any (or all!) other destructive behaviors. Be as nice to yourself as you would to your best friend if she had just gone through a bad breakup! Eat well, get a little fresh air, have a pedicure at a salon and pamper yourself a little “ hey, you’ve just been through a bad breakup! You deserve it! And the second part of this is “ be nice to others. And you know who this means. He is dying for you to behave just as badly as he did right now, so he can justify to himself (and possibly others) how right he was to break up with you in such a bad way. Just look at you “ you’re mean, you’re spiteful, you’re quite possibly crazy! Don’t give him any reason to say these things. Just be your gracious, sweet self, no matter how much you want to smash in his taillights and pour sugar in his gas tank. You may learn that you have exactly what it takes to exhibit that grace under pressure people envy, and he will learn just how wrong he was. Of course, by then it will be too late “ you have learned you are WAY too good for him.