When it comes to the opposite sex, men tend to think they’re flirting gurus, who leave women mystified after naturally ˜sweeping us off our feet’. While this theory may hold true to some, there are other habits gents pick up after the initial meet-and-greet, that can hinder our decision to give em’ a second chance. Here’s a list of the most common slips men make while toying with us, and how to react before we sweep them out the door, too:
You’re at a local pub with your girlfriends, when a charming young man offers to buy you a drink. He cracks a quirky joke and just seems, well, different! Contrary to your usual no-number-bar rule, you decide to swap digits. But what happens when his witty sense of humor translates into hackneyed banter via text? While it would be easy to toss away his digits as fast as he did your interest, you still think there’s more to him.
Solution: If you want to give this guy another shot, don’t act like his so-called ˜compliments’ (ie. I knew I wanted to talk to you the moment our eyes met) flatter you. Maybe he’s always thought these cliche catchphrases work on women (poor fella). Instead, tell him you’d love to meet for coffee, but his honeyed words have got to go. If he still doesn’t catch on, it’s time for more than just his words to hit the road.
Driving with the seat reclined really far back
You’re about to dine with a prospective beau for the first time, who offers to pick you up. Good first sign? Check. A honk startles you. It seems greeting a woman at her doorstep is so very passé©. He nods his head as you approach the car, and before he turns the key to rev up the engine, his seat reclines so far back you wonder if he’s preparing for a snooze. He reverses out of the driveway with one hand grazing the steering wheel. All he’s missing is a pair of shades and you’d insist it was a joke.
Solution: Before you scream for safety, politely ask why his seat has suddenly taken on the form of a bed (who knows, maybe he has back problems?) However unlikely, make it clear you’d rather see him drive like an 80-year-old senior than try to impress with his driving skills – or lack there of. If he still puts on a cool-guy act for the rest of the evening, that’s your cue to pull one too, a disappearing act that is.
So there’s this gent, and after meeting him at a show, you’re completely captivated by his devotion to music and intrigued to learn more. Turns out, that’s about all there is to him. When you decide to meet up the next day for lunch, the conversation is just so – bland. After a half-hour of so, do you usually order that for lunch? you wish you could sprinkle a little bit o’ salt on the conversation, too.
Solution: While there’s a chance this lad is incapable of striking up conversation, it’s likely his nerves are just getting the better of him. So before you excuse yourself from the table, only to never return, take matters into your own hands. Ask him casual, open-ended questions to put the guy at ease. If your questions only elicit one-word responses, then you’ve got a problem.
Talking too directly
Whether it be text or in person, no woman appreciates a blunt response. You know, the oh-so-dreaded yes or cool. And what exactly does a guy expect us to do with that, huh? Maybe shoot him back an lol? While no gal wants a man pouring out his soul during an initial encounter, they should at least tease us with something! If not, we’re likely to assume there’s not much to the gent at all.
Solution: Try to reveal a little bit about yourself, like how you’re finding work more stressful lately, or that you miss your best friend who just fled the country to travel. If a guy is into you, he’ll realize your subtly unveiling important aspects about your life (without disclosing too much!) and will be more inclined to relate or reciprocate. If all he does is nod plainly and reply with a that’s too bad, chances and you’re outta luck. Just tell him it is too bad, because he’s never going to see you again.
What other flirting no-nos do men make that you really wish they didn’t?