Bad Advice: 50-ish Ways to Leave Your Lover*

Most people think breaking up is hard to do, but that’s only because they haven’t read this list. If you’re worried about how awkward or painful your impending break-up may be, maybe you need to try something new**:

As You’re Getting Off a Bus or Train:
This probably only works if you’re in a movie, because the timing is really, really important.

On a Bike:
Preferably as he is still unlocking his, so you can make a quick getaway.

With an E-card:
I think this one says it best.

On Facebook:
When you change your status to single, he and your entire network will be notified simultaneously. Think of the time you’ll save! Oh, you’re not in a Facebook Official relationship? Maybe you should just post a quick status update that lets everyone know you’re ready to be single again. It’s best to temporarily change your settings to disable comments.

On AIM:
This approach lets you keep it short and sweet, like: I don’t think we should date anymore. GTG. XOXO.

With Flowers:
I’m not sure what colour rose says we’re breaking up but I’m betting it’s whatever color they sell at the check-out of the gas station.

Through the Fadeaway:
If you just stop calling back, he’ll probably get the hint. Right?

On the Phone:
Even better if you just get to leave a voicemail!

Sending a Messenger:
Go back to the days of grade school, when the only way you could let a boy know that you liked him or didn’t like him was to have your friends corner him on the playground. Today, you can replace the playground for a bar if you’d like, but the principle remains the same: If you’re struggling for the right words to say, maybe your friend will be able to come up with them.

Reverse Psychology:
I know you’re ready to break up with me, and I just want you to know that’s okay. Seriously, I KNOW YOU ARE READY TO BREAK UP WITH ME, AND THAT IS OKAY WITH ME!

*More like 10
**None of these tactics are actually endorsed by the author.

Tags: bad breakup techniques, break it off, break-up, breakup, how to breakup, Relationship, split up

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