We rarely launch into solid relationships right from the get-go. It takes time to get to know each other, understand where each other is coming from with their opinions and beliefs, and know what makes someone tick and why. Trust isn’t granted, it’s earned. It happens block by block. Here are some big blocks on the road to trust to take note of.
Talking about past relationships
Discussing heartbreak is inherently at least a little painful. Unearthing the past – especially with someone you care about – isn’t something you do everyday. If you and your partner can do it without things getting weird (awkward, dark, excruciating), you know your partner is over the past, mature enough to talk about it, and ready to move on with someone else. Sometimes it never comes up, and that’s fine too – unless someone makes a point of not bringing it up.
Meeting the friends / parents
Opening up your life to someone – including merging the friend spheres, takes some real going out on a limb. It shows your partner has faith that everyone will get along, and that they want to make those attachments in other areas of their life. Meeting the friends and / or parents is a big, and important step.
Your first huge fight
Being able to handle an argument and not have any red flags pop up that make you question your partner’s character is a sign the honeymoon stage is over. Pat yourself on the back and get ready for a bunch more productive fights. Kidding. But really – fighting is great for a relationship, if you’re both totally invested. It often makes that investment stronger.
Most importantly, before you start questioning your partner’s ability to trust, you've got to be sure of your trust for yourself. Don’t live like you’re trying to survive life. Be loving and open with the people you care about. Just be sure you go with your gut when it comes to your most important relationships.
