So you want to get better at giving blowjobs, do you? First off, you deserve some serious credit and cool points for your desire to improve. Secondly, the perfect, pleasure-encompassing BJ is what you call a darn tight leash. If you do it right, your man will move no farther than few feet from you, constantly panting and wagging his tail in your direction. So whether you’re in a relationship and just want to find new inventive ways to bring your partner more pleasure, or you just want to add a few new tools to the tool belt, there will surely be some valuable things you can take away from this list.
So here we bring you the 10-step guide that will help ensure that every guy who gets blessed by your majestic powers will forever crown you ‘The Oral Queen’:
Linger in the beginning: Your first inclination might be to just throw your hair in a ponytail and move down to his member quickly, but guys love it when a girl takes her time and teases him a little bit. For example, start kissing his chest, stomach, and the sides of his stomach in a way that isn’t completely obvious that you’re about to go down on him. That short period of time when he’s not sure if he’s about to get a blowjob or not is going to be both completely tormenting and pleasurable. Just be sure not to string him along too long, or initiate this type of contact and give him a blowjob fake out. Now that’s just cruel!
Play with his balls: I understand that the testicles are not every lady’s favourite thing on the menu, but they’re essential in helping you to give a top-notch blowjob. Think of the balls as the perfect precursor, or appetizer to giving great head. Start off by putting them in your mouth, and then start using your fingers to play with them once the blowjob begins. You can also focus on them intermittingly throughout the oral act as well. But make sure you ask your partner what he likes, as not every guy is going to like it when you begin batting his balls around like a tetherball. They’re very sensitive and packed with nerve-endings, so no matter what you do, make sure it’s done gently and with care.
Lick his shaft: Again you can continue with a bit of teasing. To start with, move your lips up and down his shaft. Lick the tip, and if he isn’t circumcised, you can play with his foreskin using your tongue and a little bit of your teeth. Just be sure to maintain gentle contact in a way that keeps him eager with anticipation. If you do it right, the build up to the actual blowjob will be one of the most erotic points of the experience.
Deep Throat isn’t always the answer: Not every guy wants you to ram the base of his shaft all the way back into your tonsils. While it may seem like it’s what he wants based on every porno you’ve ever seen, it’s not always the case in real life. You want to move down his shaft inch-by-inch, slowly working your way to the bottom. Begin by planting your hand at the base of his shift, and then find a rhythm between your hand and mouth. The double-pressure is going to drive him absolutely crazy. Plus, sometimes the pressure form a girl’s mouth won’t be enough to get the guy to climax.
Mix up the speeds: Just as you don’t want your guy to pump on high speed the entire time during intercourse, or go so slow that you’re convinced your stealing his virginity, you want to make sure you mix up the speed. You want to give variety — start slow, then pick up the pace, then slow it down again and focus your attention on other areas (inner thighs, balls, stomach, the tip). The faster you go, by no means the better and quicker his climax will be. So make sure you try different things and communicate with your partner so you know when you’re doing something that’s really working for him.
Take working breaks: Obviously, you all know that you don’t take a break during a blowjob by going and making a sandwich, or flipping through your Instagram pics. When you take a break, it’s just about giving your mouth a break. We want to make sure you take as many breaks as you need so that you’re comfortable during the experience. So spend this time to just focus on giving him a hand job, or focusing your attention to other areas of his body that don’t require as much exertion for you.
Touch yourself or get him to touch you: When you’re going down on your man, you have his complete and undivided attention. So take some time throughout to really get him riled up by putting on a show for him. Start playing with your breasts, touching yourself, or moaning a little bit. Also grab his hand and get him to touch you in all those places as well. This will drive him crazy, and he’ll immediately get closer to climax. At the very least, you’ll know he’s enjoying himself when he starts to squirm and his legs begin to lash around on the bed.
Take control and make eye contact: One of the most pleasurable things about oral sex for couples in long-term relationships is going to be the control factor. For him, the fact that his girl is in complete control of his pleasure is going to turn him on, and vice versa for her. This is something that needs to be heightened and maximized during the blowjob. You can test his boundaries by digging your fingernails slightly into his stomach and inflicting a tiny bit of pain on him. Always be sure to initiate eye contact after doing so to see if it was painful or pleasurable for him. Also, just simply maintaining eye contact whenever possible throughout will help to connect the two of you. Every now and then, look up at him.
Make some noise and let him feel comfortable: Even just creating some slight vibrations when your mouth will ignite him with added sensations and pleasure. Also, a guy wants to know that you’re enjoying the experience as well, hearing you moan will put him more at ease knowing that you’re having a good time as well. There’s nothing worse for a guy than when it’s clear that she’s not into it, which immediately puts pressure on him to finish quickly. This leads to an uncomfortable and forgettable experience for the guy. Another big confidence booster and encourager for a man is when you start talking a little dirty. You can say things like, “You’re so big”. Even if he’s no bigger than a pea coat button, it will let him feel like the man. You don’t need to go crazy with the dirty talk, just do whatever you’re comfortable with.
Finish off strong: The ending is when his sensations are going to be the strongest and the most sensitive. When you know he’s getting close to climax, go faster, both with your hand and mouth. And just before he climaxes, you can give his balls a quick tug, which are full of nerve endings and will make him go crazy just as he orgasms.
A great blowjob is even better than bacon. Now that’s saying something. But in all seriousness, by improving your blowjob skills you will be able to create enormous amounts of pleasure, not only for your partner, but for you as well. You will be beaming with pride and confidence when you see just how much joy you’re bringing him.
Well, it’s up to you now, to take some of these steps, put them into practice and start blowing guys away with your skills.
Jamie Rea is a writer and web-entrepreneur based in Toronto. He specializes in writing about dating, relationships, lifestyle, entertainment, and culture. On top of his own blog creations The Brolog and Thoughts4Men, he contributes regularly to the Thought Catalog and AmongMen.com.
If you need to take a break that is fine, but that doesnt mean you go from a soft wet mouth to a rough hand gripping it as hard as you can. Overall though, try to keep the breaks as minimal as possible. Don’t start what you can’t finish.