Last night… on RuPaul’s Drag Race: It took no less than seven men in wigs to pay homage to the kaleidoscope of camp that is Cherilyn Sarkisian in Drag Race’s ultimate salute to The Mother of Drag Queens in Cher: The Unauthorized Ru-sical.
In the mini-challenge, Slap Out Of It, the queens had to withstand a stage slap from Ru herself. While Asia O’Hara’s slap-sparking line to Ru, “You hit like a girl–too bad you don’t look like one,” was worthy shade, it may have been Ru’s scene-breaking IRL slap on Asia that clinched her crown as the mini-challenge winner.
I guess the theme this season is that drag IS a contact sport! @AsiaOharaLand #DragRace pic.twitter.com/iZWD07Ntb1
— RuPaul's Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) May 11, 2018
The struggle was real as the queens rehearsed Cher: The Unauthorized Ru-sical with Todrick Hall. Eureka revealed that singing live was yet another trigger point for her, recalling a time as a child when she wouldn’t sing for her father’s friends that ended in a physical altercation. Her rival The Vixen, meanwhile, took to her “Single Ladies”-inspired choreo like a Mermaid to water.
Onstage, non-singer Kameron Michaels wowed the judges with a surprisingly faithful ’60s Cher while Asia squandered an opportunity to channel Cher’s Bob Mackie headdress from the Oscars as Movie Star Cher. Kameron, aided by a soap-opera-y gold glitter gown look in the Glitter-ific category that guest-judge Billy Eichner described as “Joan Rivers on The Tonight Show” (favourably), was the challenge winner. The bottom queens were Asia for her not-so-Moonstriking Cher-the-actress look and The Vixen for not capturing L’Essence De Cher in her variety show performance.
In a Lip Sync For Your Life to Deee-Lite’s “Groove Is In The Heart,” The Vixen was sent home, possibly more for her combative nature than for her actual lip sync. “You came here to fight, and you leave a champion,” Ru said as she bid The Vixen adieu, which is kind of a weird way to tell someone they aren’t winning Drag Race.
But we believe in life after Drag Race. These queens also deserve to Cher in the glory.
Most Worthy Of The Met (Gala and Museum): Aquaria
Aquaria is so on-trend, she wore a glittering Catholic-y crown for her Glitter-ific challenge just days after every major fashion star slayed Catholic glamour at the Met Gala. Forget selfies, Aquaria’s delivering full-on Renaissance portraits.
#CategoryIs Glitterific! ✨ #HeavenlyBodyOdyOdy #MetGala @aquariaofficial #DragRace pic.twitter.com/rsigTponCu
— RuPaul's Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) May 11, 2018
Best Excuse For Doing Dorothy Parker In Snatch Game: Miz Cracker
Miz Cracker is so funny it has disguised her Achile’s High Heel as a drag queen: she lived in a pop-culture bubble throughout her formative years. Cracker revealed that, growing up in Seattle, she was only allowed to watch one hour of TV a week and had to make her own toys which, presumably, is how she learned to craft a perfect barfing-glitter skull.
Least Necessary War Bonnet: Cher and Monet x Change (tie)
There is nothing as flamboyantly wrong in the Cher oeuvre as her bikini-and-war-bonnet costume from the “Half-Breed” era. So grudging kudos to the show for couching Monet’s disrespectful attire in a song about how we would now call that cultural appropriation (sample lyric: “that wasn’t even a word!”). But it’s time to pack that lewk up and put it where no one will ever be tempted to don it again—with the Cher aerobic videos.
https://twitter.com/RuPaulsDragRace/status/994742819116871681
Best Teachable Moment While Surrounded By Half-Naked Men Dressed As Cher (Duo or Group): The Vixen and Asia O’Hara
As Aquaria was running around the Werq Room bellowing “Disco Cher!”, Asia took The Vixen aside for a surprisingly nuanced discussion of race in America. Asia questioned if The Vixen was using Eureka, who she put on blast on the runway last week, as a surrogate for her frustrations surrounding white privilege in America. Ru also minted a new scripture by advising The Vixen, “You can fight, but ultimately the biggest fight you have in this life is with yourself.” Wait, wasn’t it last week that we resurrected Maya Angelou?
Least Likely To Have Been Involved In Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical: Cher
Cher, we get it. Sure, it was fun to meet RuPaul in your dressing room and charm the tuck out of her in 1996, but 22 years later, a drag tribute is no longer cute. We never harboured any false hope that you would leave your Malibu mansion to make an appearance, especially while Dancing With The Stars is in season. But the fact that this episode didn’t even include a single Cher song seems like a missed opportunity. In 1998, when she had her last number one with “Believe,” there were Drag Race fans in the womb! Cher, snap out of it!
Next week, on RuPaul’s Drag Race?: It looks like the horse content on Drag Race won’t be confined just to Monet’s Mr. Ed-like impersonation of Cher. Next week, the queens are galloping off to parody country with the epic spoof Breastworld.
Will Monet take Ru’s advice and sing opera as a drag queen? Will Eureka reveal she has been harbouring a deep trauma about prestige cable dramas? Will Aquaria be revealed as the world’s first AI drag queen, hold the I?
Find out on episode nine of RuPaul’s Drag Race: Season 10 on Thursday at 8 PM E/P on OUTtv.
