Last night… on RuPaul’s Drag Race: The queen-sized cast of 14 were reunited for a snitch-and-bitch sesh that left us asking such questions as “Was The Vixen misunderstood?” and “Who is Mayhem Miller?”
With the challenges all in the can and the coronation of either Aquaria, Asia O’Hara, Eureka, or Kameron Michaels as America’s Next Drag Superstar still a week away, tonight was reserved for reading (queens), writing (receipts), and arithmetic (if you have 14 queens and The Vixen storms out, how long does it take before you don’t feel weird about it anymore?).
While the real winner will be crowned next week in front of Drag Race fans, judges, and random celebrities, we are still processing everything that came out tonight the only way we know how: through aw-a-a-a-ards!
Most Underdressed: The Vixen’s Abandoned Chair
Eureka O’Hara was dressed like Disney’s Cinderella cameo-ing in Mama Mia: Here We Go Again, Blair St. Clair looked like Jessica Rabbit finally got an origin story, and Yuhua Hamasaki was dressed like she’d just freshly clawed her way out of a well.
Season 10 Televised Reunion Look Gown👗: @diegomontoya3d Jewelry💍: @mikymike981 Hair💇♀️: @wigsandgrace Photo📸: @theroxytaylor #teameureka #doublechinforthewin #beyourselftofreeyourself #PHAT #carebear #elephantqueen #🐘👑 #amazons #phatfashionicon #season9 #season10 #rupaulsdragrace Always stay updated on my website at www.eurekatheelephantqueen.com
Love you to pieces, @BlairStClair! One brave, fierce Queen. Your story has helped many, and we’re so proud! ❤️ #DragRace pic.twitter.com/vhv83muXpn
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) June 22, 2018
me on Monday mornings trying to seem alive #DragRace pic.twitter.com/90traaiK06
— Giphy Identity (@GIPHYIdentity) June 22, 2018
And yet it was The Vixen’s vacant chair that pulled all the focus during the tense reunion. After Ru challenged The Vixen over instigating drama, The Vixen said that she had only agreed to come to the reunion to thank her fans for their support before she walked off the set.
Longest Stare Into The Middle Distance During A Reality Competition Series: Asia O’Hara
Asia challenged RuPaul for not being more generous with The Vixen. “The Vixen seems to me like a person who is crying out for help,” she said, her voice breaking. Ru countered that sometimes in life you have to cut people loose and Asia spent the rest of the reunion staring silently into the void. Drag Race: come for the men in glitter lipstick, stay for the heartbreaking meditations on the human condition.
The Keanu Reeves Award for Most Visible Misery: Kameron Michaels
Apparently Kameron Michaels strategy of never talking to anyone ever backfired as the queens dragged her for not being more social with them. When the queens were polled about who should win, four said Eureka, three said Asia, two said Aquaria, and none said Kameron. When Ru announced that Kameron’s fanbase could rally around the hashtag #TeamKameron, her smile was less, “yay, vote for me!” and more abandoned puppies and Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel.”
🌟Are you #TeamKameron?🌟 @KameronMichaels @rupaul @rupaulsdragrace #DragRace #DragRaceFYC pic.twitter.com/zbp0JwyNih
— World of Wonder (@WorldOfWonder) June 22, 2018
Least Likely To Be A Star Despite Being A Breakout Star This Season: Miz Cracker
Even though Miz Cracker placed fifth on season ten (oh yeah, and narrated the entire show), she’s still struggling with the impression, best crystalized by Asia, that she’s “not a star.” So in case we’re not sad enough already, let us now imagine the irrepressible Miz Cracker falling into a Netflix coma trying to grapple with Asia’s critique. “I took that phrase and I beat myself for months until I couldn’t get out of bed,” she told Asia. “I came here only to be a star. This time, you made a mistake. Not [clap] next [clap] time [clap] bitch [clap].”
Most Likely To Make Shakespeare Look Like V.C. Andrews: Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
“Vanjie”’s place in the gay lexicon was best expressed by Miz Cracker: “Vanjie is like gay aloha: it’s hello, goodbye, and thank you.” Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, the first queen eliminated, explained her instantly iconic post-elimination exit: walking backwards unsurely while catcalling “Vanjie.”
“In my head I was not going to go home, so I had prepared no speech,” she said. Thankfully, she coped with the disappointment by saying yes to every offer afterwards except for “can you tell me how far you got?” Her career philosophy? “Take your 15 and act like you were there the whole time.”
Next week, on RuPaul’s Drag Race?: The final four face-off in a Lipsynch For The Crown in front of a live theatre of Drag Race obsessives.
Will Eureka overcome her fear of dancing? Will Asia escape her pageant past? Will Kameron finally snap and Carrie the place to the ground? Will Aquaria have been born when the lipsynch song came out?
Find out on the finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race: Season 10 on Thursday at 8 PM E/P on OUTtv.
Missed last week’s recap? Catch up here!