Are we all okay with Kylie Jenner? First off, she’s 18 and basically running her own business (and/or is at the very least super involved in the development of her makeup line), she doesn’t seem to be partying super hard, and she’s arguably just living her life.
Also, she was dating Tyga for two years who had been previously dating Black Chyna who is now engaged to Kylie’s brother Rob (and also carrying his child). If you think it sounds dramatic, that’s totally because it is. And now it’s even more dramatic because Tyga and Kylie have allegedly called it quits.
According to TMZ (woof), the two broke up before the Met Gala, explaining why they didn’t walk the red carpet together. No representatives have commented, but sources (“sources”) have said “this time it’s for good.” So there’s that.
But like, look. Obviously this wasn’t going to last because Tyga is 26 years old and started dating Kylie before she was 18 a.k.a. before she was old enough to think, “Ew it’s gross this 20-something-year-old guy wants to date me.” (Right? Like, this about how many “cool older guys” we gave the time of day to back in high school only to realize they were total freaks-in-a-bad-way once we were old enough to drink legally. Exactly.) Also, Kylie’s now entrenched in some weirdo Royal Family shit: exes dating brothers having children getting married — this is the type of shit reserved exclusively for King Henry’s court circa Tudor era, and in no way for the 21st century, thank you very much. Girlfriend doesn’t need this shit. Beef or no beef. Nobody should have to say, “Yeah my boyfriend’s ex is having a child with my brother!” unless you’re a character in a TV show the writers have given up on. It’s not even a Monet because from all angles it’s a big old mess.
So I say be free, Kylie Jenner. Live your best business life and order soup via Snapchat and lip sync your heart out because this is the first day of the rest of your life. Hang by the pool. Be 18. Go hang at the mall or go to the movies with like, 13 people and annoy everybody else who’s there with the sheer volume of your crowd. Play the Kylie and Kendall game on your iPhone and develop hacks that allow some of us to keep playing even if we don’t want to buy new energy.
Just go. Be young! Live your best life! Also, everyone leave her alone for a while, you freaks. Break-ups are tough. When I was 18? I was totally in love with a guy who egged my house on my 18th birthday, and if TMZ had reported on that, I’d have literally walked into the ocean. So let’s just apply some lip kits, take a breath, and lip sync to Drake in the back of our cars. K-Jen, drop me a line if you need a minute. Until then, Snapchat from the pantry all you want. You deserve it.