Happy Monday, everybody who also hates that particular greeting! (We’re in this together, you guys.) As you may know, the Emmys were last night, and as a person who follows pop culture as an actual job, I can confirm that they did indeed happen.
Granted, I did not watch them because I was very tired and honestly fell asleep very early after watching The Great British Bake Off (which is a show that deserves every Emmy in every category because it is the absolute best). But as I creeped a bit on Twitter, I was happy to see the following things happen.
First, Kate McKinnon won an Emmy for her work on Saturday Night Live which, like, duh. She thanked Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton for being alive, and everybody felt all the feelings, and then Hillary Clinton congratulated Kate via Twitter, and then Donald Trump dropped out of the election and Hillary chose Bernie Sanders to co-VP with Tim Kaine. And while the last two things I just said are an absolute lie, everything else is true and all hail Queen Kate, our new God.
Also a god: Canada’s Tatiana Maslany, who won an Emmy for Orphan Black (AND IT’S ABOUT TIME), while Sarah Paulson won for her portrayal of Marcia Clark and then apologized to Marcia during her speech for the judgements tossed at the lawyer during the actual OJ Simpson trial. Which reminds me: Sarah Paulson is the best, The People Vs. OJ Simpson is the best, and I am the best for recognizing what is the best, obviously.
What else? Um, Rami Malek took home a trophy (can we please call them trophies? I would always rather win a trophy than an “award” — “award” sounds like a printed certificate you can literally make at your own house via clip art) for Mr. Robot which makes all of the sense — unlike Game of Thrones winning Best Drama over The Americans. (Like, what was that? What is that? Am I alone in being weirded out by this? Probably not.)
So that was the Emmys, according to me, a person who read about the Emmys after the fact because honestly sometimes it’s all just too much for a Sunday night. Basically, I am Maggie Smith — a four-time Emmy winner who could not care less and never, ever shows up because she can’t be bothered.
Only in my case, please replace “four-time Emmy winner” with “writer who is typing this from her back deck in an attempt to cling to summer despite summer very much being like, ‘honestly you’re a freak get away from me.'”
So I guess what I’m saying is HAPPY MONDAY EVERYBODY.