Two Bachelorettes, 25 guys. For the first time ever, it’s the guys choosing which lady will become the lady of the season. Of course, pitting last season’s Britt and Kaitlyn against one another for their shot at love. Both left heartbroken by Farmer Chris last season, they’re back and looking for their one true love.
Both Britt and Kaitlyn rolled up to the mansion, shared their slightly awkward greetings to one another and chatted with Chris Harrison about the whole process. When it was time for the guys to arrive, the gals stood apart on the driveway, so each guy had to make an even more awkward intro by quite literally choosing which lady they wanted to say hi to first. From the get-go, some guys already had a particular lady in mind, revving up the competition almost immediately. Based on who they went to first, here’s how the guys are divided:
Jonathan (who came for Britt and Britt alone)
Ryan B (who called her a Disney princess)
Jared (Loveman”like Spiderman”who said he came for Kaitlyn, but went to Britt first)
Josh (the Magic Mike wannabe/lawyer-in-training)
Tanner (who called her on her crier status with a pack of tissues)
Tony (the healer who used the exact. same. line. twice.)
Ben (though he later said he was more struck by Britt)
Ian (who definitely came for Kaitlyn. Sorry, Britt)
JJ (who is sadly not from Canada but came armed with the line I want to puck you)
Ryan M. (obsessed with Kaitlyn”serial killer?)
Joe (who brought moonshine! Brownie points!)
Justin (who brought balloons!!! More brownie points!)
Shawn B. (who went for the group hug, but then went for it with Britt and had her swooning”but then told Kaitlyn she was the reason he was there #awkward)
Shawn E. (pulled up in a car hot tub)
Chris (the dentist who pulled up in a CUPCAKE. A CUPCAKE!!!!)
Joshua (the Idaho welder)
After most of the men had arrived, Kaitlyn scooted inside to up the ante on the competition say hi to the guys, rubbing Britt the wrong way. It started off a little slow with Kaitlyn (we’re talking like six straight guys going to Britt), but once all the guys had arrived, the group was pretty evenly split between which of the ladies they wanted to lead the season. Once the cocktail party got underway though, it was the guys that were making things awkward, especially with douchebag alpha-dog Ryan M. who drank a little too much (classic first night problem, remember?) and started causing some drama. (Ever notice there’s always someone who gets trashed and ends up topless in the pool? Oh wait, wasn’t that Kaitlyn?) When amateur sex coach Shawn E. pulled up in a car pool (get it? get it?), drunk Ryan M. came out and started the drunken smack-talk. Le sigh.
After all 25 guys had made their best first impressions, Kaitlyn and Britt went inside to make theirs. Kaitlyn made an awkward joke (classic Kaitlyn, obvs) but Britt tried to get the upper hand, expressing her intentions of finding a best friend and kinda stealing the spotlight. Almost immediately guys started pulling Kaitlyn and Britt aside trying to make a connection with them and hopefully get them to stay. Each of the guys had to vote Survivor-styles with roses in boxes, effectively sending one unlucky lady home. There were some definite connections and some not-so-much moments and even some possibly love-at-first-sight looks and chats.
After Shawn E. confronted Ryan M. about his carpool and he didn’t remember it, Ryan M. pulled Britt aside to chat, but a couple guys weren’t having it, knowing he was making a gigantic ass of himself. When he pulled Kaitlyn aside, HE TOUCHED HER ASS. NOOOOOO. NO. NO. When Ben Z. confronted him, Ryan M. got upset and stripped down into his speedo (?!) and went for a swim in the pool. Because copious amounts of alcohol and pools are a great mix! Ryan M. was the vision of a shit show and some of the guys really wanted him to go home (especially when he was casually throwing around terms like hoes and rape). In the end, Chris Harrison had Britt and Kaitlyn’s backs and sent Ryan M. packing (the rest of the group was practically giddy) because he takes care of business.
Just when the party was at a high, in walked Chris Harrison with the announcement of that dreaded weird rose ceremony that we never (ever) want to see again (looking at you, ABC!). But, in true Bachelor/Bachelorette form, we did not find out who is the next Bachelorette. Stay tuned for tonight’s episode where they hopefully stop pulling at our heart strings and the world can finally find out if #TeamKaitlyn or #TeamBritt (we’re in the former, btw) won the crown!