Mad Men on Hold Until 2012

And in the worst entertainment news since Sarah Jessica Parker alluded to a third Sex and the City film, Mad Men won’t be returning to television until early 2012. And when (if?) it does? Creator/director/mastermind Matthew Weiner may be gone.

(This is the part where you walk away, break into the Easter chocolate and read the rest while gnawing on a solid chocolate bunny.)

Thanks to a contract dispute (what else?), AMC and Weiner are deadlocked over a teeny tiny $30 million dollar situation. The problem? AMC wants to pay him that much if he: a) promises to lose two characters, 2) allows the show to become a platform for product placement and 3) cuts two minutes from every episode. Matthew doesn’t want to – so he might quit.

In the meantime, we’re left in a grey area. Not only has Don gone and married his French-speaking Canadian secretary, Betty’s worse than she’s ever been and Sally’s minutes away from morphing into a full-blown hippie. (And let’s not forget the Glenn storyline. Or Pete and Trudy. Or JOAN and say, her unborn child. PEGGY, and her ball-busting spirit. Think of the possibilities.)

Realistically, you’d think that Weiner would scale back his salary a smidge so the rest of the world wouldn’t have to suffer. Or at least throw a couple of Pepsi cans on the screen so we can have our Sterling Cooper Draper Price.

But no. Matthew’s about “creative integrity”, so while he goes to bed on a pile of money, the rest of us have to spend our August – December with our heads cast down in total misery. As Twitter said it best, by the time Mad Men does return, Don Draper may be in bell bottoms.