You know when you’re sleeping soundly and innocently and then Jimmy Kimmel walks in and wakes you out of your slumber? Well, as if this episode couldn’t get more attractive, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel came in and made it even better. Armed with a cup of coffee and his regular charm, Kimmel came to help Farmer Chris make his choice to find the woman of his dreams. He introduced himself to the girls, opting for something similar to his opening monologue, but introducing a new rule (and a date card) that every time someone says “amazing,” they have to put a dollar into a jar.
The first date card went to Kaitlyn who headed out to…Costco? Kimmel’s reasoning is going to Costco is something real couples do (true… actually did this on Saturday) and since all three of them are going to be eating dinner together, Kimmel wanted to make sure that Chris and Kaitlyn got the essentials. The two of them rolled down the aisles of Costco (literally) but stopped for a quick kiss and almost (almost) looked like the real deal for a while when they were seasoning their steaks and prepping their dinner party together. And while they were getting comfortable kissing, in walked Kimmel ready to get the party started and dig a little deeper. Hoping to be “the lubricant” to help the relationship slide a little better, Kimmel was asking the hard-hitting questions like if Kaitlyn would be upset if Chris slept with other girls in the fantasy suite, and if she would do it too… welp… her response was in the vein of “gotta test drive the car.” With Jimmy’s urging and Chris’ heart in the right place, Chris offered Kaitlyn the rose and thought they ditched Jimmy, but while they were having a romantic makeout sesh in the, Jimmy was right there with his chicken wings, as you do.
Back at the mansion, the girls were waiting for the date card, which included Britt, Jillian, Becca, Tracy, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Amber, Ashley S., Juelia, Samantha, Nikki and Carly. After Jillian got in some training, the group was ready to go on their date, with Kimmel in tow. To their surprise, the girls were going to have to do some farm work, along with corn-shucking, grabbing eggs from chickens, milking goats, drinking the goat’s milk and then shoveling manure. The remaining ladies who didn’t get eliminated then got to wrestle some greasy pigs (literally) for some extra time with their Bachelor-in-waiting. Jillian was taking the lead, but Mackenzie got disqualified in the second round. Carly was having trouble with some of the teets but she pushed through while the other girls tried to catch up without coughing up the (warm) goat’s milk. While Jillian was jumping fences and mooning everyone, Carly was wrestling a pig and won the challenge. Carly stole some time with Chris while the other girls were just getting ready to sit and relax in real clothes, but that wasn’t the only thing Carly stole from Chris, taking advantage of their alone time with a kiss. Kelsey was next up for the smooch, but then Mackenzie took her time to ask Chris point blank why he’s kissing everyone else. (SERIOSULY CHRIS, IS THIS A PLAY FROM JUAN PABLO’S BOOK?!) He kinda backed himself out of the question and had a genuine conversation with Becca, but he obviously took Mackenzie’s chat to heart because when Becca leaned in for a kiss he leaned in for a hug. Chris settled in with the ladies to dole out the rose in the group date, handing it to Becca for making an actual connection instead of just a kiss.
At the mansion, Whitney’s name was on the next solo date card, hopefully securing herself a spot for another week. Chris and squeaky-voiced Whitney rolled into a winery for their date where they hung out and talked for a bit until Chris accidentally ate some of Whitney’s hair and then they decided to crash a wedding, because #YOLO. They walk into the wedding like they totally belong, ready with a gift for the happy couple and with a story in case Chris was recognized (they’re done shooting and are engaged). It was going smoothly until they ended up talking to the bridal party (oops) and Chris started sputtering, but Whitney saved the day with her quick mind and even ended up dancing with the bride and groom. After crashing the wedding, Chris was starting to realize there was more to Whitney than just helium inhalation and finished their date off with a kiss and a rose that Chris strategically pulled from a centrepiece.
Chris and Kimmel had a nice little bromance shower before crashing the girls party again, telling them instead of a cocktail party, the whole crew is having a pool party before the rose ceremony. As soon as Chris arrived and took off his shirt, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared before everyone flocked to him trying to get some time with the hunky dude. Juelia stole some time away with Chris, hoping to tell him a bit more of her story. He was really great listening to her about what happened with her husband who had committed suicide. After Chris’ talk with Juelia, the rest of the girls started swarming him for time, like Britt (who snuck in a couple kisses) and then Jade who asked for a tour of his place, getting away from the rest of the pack. While they were getting to know one another on his bed (complete with—you guessed it—kisses!), Jillian was making a statement and waiting for Chris in his hot tub.
Kim Kardashian’s knockoff Ashley I. was freaking out because she hadn’t had any time with Chris, so she dragged Megan and Mackenzie to break up the party, but they still got in some smooching, because THIS IS A COMPETITION, LADIES! After Jillian wouldn’t leave, Ashley I. got upset and gave us some tears because Jillian wasn’t sharing her toys with the rest of the girls. It seemed like a few girls didn’t get some time with Chris, but as soon as he was free, Ashley I. scooped him right up and then started crying in front of him because of what happened, because that doesn’t look desperate at all. Chris took it all in stride and then the two started kissing in that weird, gross, cow-chewing sound. Blech.
At the rose ceremony, Jimmy gave Chris a pep talk before heading out to dash some dreams. Even though Ashley I. had pleaded to be called closer to the beginning of the list, she got the last rose, sending Amber, Trina and Tracy home.
Coming up roses: Kaitlyn, Becca, Whitney, Jade, Samantha, Juelia, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Britt, Megan, Carly, Ashley S. (no drama this week from her—surprising), Nikki, Jillian, Ashley I.
Kiss count: Kaitlyn, Carly, Kelsey, Whitney, Britt, Jade, Jillian, Ashley I. (Episode – 8; Season – 15)
Cry count: Juelia, Ashley I. (x2), Amber (Episode – 4; Season – 13)
Catfight count: None for now!
Bachelorettes to watch: Britt, Ashley I. (you know, for our safety), Kaitlyn, Whitney