How does sharing sexual fantasies keep your sex life working like a well lubed machine? Here's a totally vanilla explanation for a smoking hot idea – it's all about opening up and sharing with your partner.
According to Brett Kahr, author of The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies, the ability to fantasize is a valuable, maybe even crucial, part of the human mind. Our ability to manipulate thoughts, ideas, perceptions and reality, all within the private confines of our own minds makes life worth living. Without sexual fantasies, our minds would be bleak places, and so, in turn, would our bedrooms.
If sexual fantasies are extensions of our creativity, then sharing them with your partner lets you create opportunities to explore new paths, sides of your partner and yourself – if you're willing.
The inevitable fear of judgement, disappointment, or disaster enusing can obviously put a damper on bringing fantasies into the real world. IRL, you actually have to consider your partners' feeings, worries, etc. (Kahr states, "a mind fuck is better than the other kind.")
But on the same note, just like taking the risk of sharing anything personal with your partner can bring your bond to the next level, showing your partner the thing you really want in the bedroom can result in a creative meeting of the minds that can result in fun, imaginative play where you can check yourselves at the bedroom door for a little while. Which, sharing your fantasies will let you do, as long as you with the same perceptiveness, consideration and honesty you bring to your relationship.
When it comes to sharing with your partner (in any context), strive for the courage to be vulnerable. And don't shortchange your number one erogenous zone – bring your ideas, knowledge, and fantasies into the bedroom.