When You’re The Other Woman

by Sara Koonar
14 years ago
Relationships
15 comments

We have seen it before: A married man cheats on his wife, leads on the other woman promising her that he will leave his wife, never leaves his wife and the other woman is left broken hearted and revengeful, ultimately telling his wife. This scenario is easy to recognize from the outside in, but when you are the other woman, hope that you’ll be the exception is often what keeps you from walking away.

How did you become the other woman?
He was charming, sweet and made you feel special. He told you that he was having problems at home and was thinking of separating from his wife. You believed him.  The trust that he is going to leave her for you is what got you here. But, how can you trust someone who is lying to the person they made vows with?

He is so into you, the fact that you are different from her, your sex life is exciting because you are always hiding and you have so much fun together. These things boost your ego, allowing you to forget that you are not the person he sleeps next to at night, the person he sits down for dinner with every evening and wakes up to in the morning. You smile, because you don’t want to upset him, but inside you feel empty and guilty.

How to become THE woman!
Leave him.  You will never be number one and the minute you realize it and walk away, that is the instant you get your freedom and confidence back.
When you’re wrapped up in the moment you believe that he is the only one for you and that he is your soul mate, etc., you’re not seeing the forest for the trees. The truth is that when you leave him, his motives and intentions will become clear; in time you will realize that if you continue your affair you could potentially break up a family and forever damage your self-respect.

Think about yourself in the future when you are married with kids and imagine a woman coming into your life, taking your husband and tearing your marriage apart. Mind you, he is to blame because he lied and cheated, but your knowledge that he was married and the fact that you continued to be intimate with him makes you just as guilty.

The harsh and straight-forward truth may be hard to swallow, but when you find the man who treats you like the only girl in the world, you will be thanking yourself for making this decision. You are a strong and intelligent woman, no one has the right to manipulate or take advantage of you. You deserve better!

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Tags: affair, cheated, cheater, cheating, guilty, infidelity, Marriage, married man, other woman, Relationships, wife

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Comments

  1. Reply
    Most folks buy Dvd videos, because you want to enjoy these individuals
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    You know, to be perfectly honest it is not always the case the the “poor wife” is a victim. I was the other woman and now I am the wife, and quite happy too. His ex bankrupted him twice, let herself get to about 300lbs once he was “caught” and kept him caught up in her dysfunctional family dramas for years. As soon as they married (no kids) she claimed “disability”, stopped work and sat on her ass in front of the shopping channel spending. Because he cared for her he bought a house to be near her neurotic daughter which gave him a 200k round trip commute. While he worked and drove she was busy spending his money on the house. She btw banked all of her disabilty cheques… She embarassed him in front of collegues repeatedly (I witnessed this several times), and nagged him constantly for working too much – gee, who the hell was supposed to pay for everything anyway? In the end he had all he could take. I did not try to “hook him”, but because we are like minded politically, philosophically and I have an intellect which is somewhat higher than his earthworm brained ex, I guess things just took their course. Many years later we are still very happy, although still paying for his slug of an ex (thanks Ontario divorce laws). He despised her for a lot of years and in the end, his “do the right thing” attituded got all worn out.
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    My 41yr old husband of 20years just left me and the kids for his 26yr old colleague at shell Canada. The company put him up in a paid appartment for six months, perhaps to facilitate his new relationship?! Been going on for a couple of years with lots of suspicious colleagues. He pursued her, she fell for it. Meanwhile my dear husband did nothing to salvage our marriage and charmed life. we are devastated at home. Wonder what kind of relationship they can build on such a sneaky dishonest beginning. Wonder what her dad will say when he finds out my husband is closer in age to him than to his daughter!!! My son is closer in age to her than my husband. I loved my husband, now I think he is one of the biggest jerks going. I feel like a fool too…..but I will get over it with my head held high!!
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    You know, to be perfectly honest it is not always the case the the “poor wife” is a victim. I was the other woman and now I am the wife, and quite happy too. His ex bankrupted him twice, let herself get to about 300lbs once he was “caught” and kept him caught up in her dysfunctional family dramas for years. As soon as they married (no kids) she claimed “disability”, stopped work and sat on her ass in front of the shopping channel spending. Because he cared for her he bought a house to be near her neurotic daughter which gave him a 200k round trip commute. While he worked and drove she was busy spending his money on the house. She btw banked all of her disabilty cheques… She embarassed him in front of collegues repeatedly (I witnessed this several times), and nagged him constantly for working too much – gee, who the hell was supposed to pay for everything anyway? In the end he had all he could take. I did not try to “hook him”, but because we are like minded politically, philosophically and I have an intellect which is somewhat higher than his earthworm brained ex, I guess things just took their course. Many years later we are still very happy, although still paying for his slug of an ex (thanks Ontario divorce laws). He despised her for a lot of years and in the end, his “do the right thing” attituded got all worn out.
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    My 41yr old husband of 20years just left me and the kids for his 26yr old colleague at shell Canada. The company put him up in a paid appartment for six months, perhaps to facilitate his new relationship?! Been going on for a couple of years with lots of suspicious colleagues. He pursued her, she fell for it. Meanwhile my dear husband did nothing to salvage our marriage and charmed life. we are devastated at home. Wonder what kind of relationship they can build on such a sneaky dishonest beginning. Wonder what her dad will say when he finds out my husband is closer in age to him than to his daughter!!! My son is closer in age to her than my husband. I loved my husband, now I think he is one of the biggest jerks going. I feel like a fool too…..but I will get over it with my head held high!!
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Come on, all of you know it is the excitment of hiding on the wife. Having sex in the closets, public washroom, parks,,ect,, He will only have you around for so long, then the excitememt is gone gone gone, Off he goes looking for another one to have that same excitment he once had with you,When its all over he is coming home from work having dinner with his wife and Family, Then off to BED they go, Until he gets borded again,, Come on Women go find your own that dont have the ring and the pepers that go with it,
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Well, I am a bit guilty of this. Although he is not married (my ex), they are only dating I am talking to my ex. We have both since been in a few relationships each. I know people say “they are an ex for a reason” but we really aren’t ex’s for any reason other than we were young and decided to go our separate ways and met back up years later. We have not hooked up, as I wouldn’t do that while one of us was in a relationship and we have briefly talked about getting together but I avoid the topic as it would make things complicated because I am away at school. Our feelings for each other won’t just go away…. they haven’t for either of us in the decade or so that we have known and dated each other. What should I do?
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Hey why is everyone so serious? What even happened to old fashioned NSA (no-strings attached) relationships? We all need there from time to time (even us married folk), and most of us have had them at some point in our lives. Just go out have fun ladies, not everything is worth debating and analyzing, it’s just sex!
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Once a cheater always a cheater. C’mon Ladies he’s really not that good and he is a liar. If you are so into his lov making dont EVER forget he makes love to his wife the same way, yup, and that “passion” yup does where off and then what he moves on to someone else cause its the chase that they love and the catch and then there done. They are pathological liars preying on women that are insecure. Why would you allow this to happen to you. If you are that interested and he tells you he has problems, Tell him that you want to see divorce papers first. So you see, you are just as guilty because you are so attracted to them that you allow them to talk the talk. Your fault. They just do what they do best and you allow it so stop crying.
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Preach it! IF he leaves his wife, how quickly will the novelty and danger of running around in secret wear off? Will the relationship still be so tantalizing once it’s out in the open? Everything they have is tainted by their guilty beginnings…
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Come on, all of you know it is the excitment of hiding on the wife. Having sex in the closets, public washroom, parks,,ect,, He will only have you around for so long, then the excitememt is gone gone gone, Off he goes looking for another one to have that same excitment he once had with you,When its all over he is coming home from work having dinner with his wife and Family, Then off to BED they go, Until he gets borded again,, Come on Women go find your own that dont have the ring and the pepers that go with it,
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Well, I am a bit guilty of this. Although he is not married (my ex), they are only dating I am talking to my ex. We have both since been in a few relationships each. I know people say “they are an ex for a reason” but we really aren’t ex’s for any reason other than we were young and decided to go our separate ways and met back up years later. We have not hooked up, as I wouldn’t do that while one of us was in a relationship and we have briefly talked about getting together but I avoid the topic as it would make things complicated because I am away at school. Our feelings for each other won’t just go away…. they haven’t for either of us in the decade or so that we have known and dated each other. What should I do?
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Hey why is everyone so serious? What even happened to old fashioned NSA (no-strings attached) relationships? We all need there from time to time (even us married folk), and most of us have had them at some point in our lives. Just go out have fun ladies, not everything is worth debating and analyzing, it’s just sex!
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Once a cheater always a cheater. C’mon Ladies he’s really not that good and he is a liar. If you are so into his lov making dont EVER forget he makes love to his wife the same way, yup, and that “passion” yup does where off and then what he moves on to someone else cause its the chase that they love and the catch and then there done. They are pathological liars preying on women that are insecure. Why would you allow this to happen to you. If you are that interested and he tells you he has problems, Tell him that you want to see divorce papers first. So you see, you are just as guilty because you are so attracted to them that you allow them to talk the talk. Your fault. They just do what they do best and you allow it so stop crying.
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Preach it! IF he leaves his wife, how quickly will the novelty and danger of running around in secret wear off? Will the relationship still be so tantalizing once it’s out in the open? Everything they have is tainted by their guilty beginnings…

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