What Not to Wear: On Your First Date

Just like most of us would probably cringe if our date showed up wearing tight white jeans, a Hawaiian shirt and socks with sandals, here are a few fashion looks that are guaranteed to send the guys you date running in the opposite direction.

Sweatpants.
This comfy favorite is the perfect thing to wear if you’re planning on spending a night in watching a chick flick and crying into your Ben and Jerry’s. But, when worn in public, sweatpants give the distinct vibe of I give up. Even if you have a sporty activity planned for your date, there are lots of more flattering active wear options available. Just make sure that none of these options include writing across your posterior.  Even if you have an amazing ass, no one needs to know how Juicy it is.

Anything that looks like it was purchased at the Disney Store.
You may think that wearing clothing that is embellished with the friendly faces of cartoon characters makes you come off as cute and playful. However, most likely, you are closer to age 25 than 5. You don’t want your date to feel like a pedophile, so leave the Mickey Mouse duds at home.

The American Apparel see-through mesh body suit.
True, their advertising campaign almost makes you believe that if you owned a garment that was completely transparent from head to toe, you too could be a hipster sex kitten. But, there is something to be said about keeping some things under wraps. There is absolutely no reason to wear this item in public … ever.

Any clothing item that has the words Sexy or Foxy printed on it.
Have you noticed that things that really are what they are don’t need to advertise it? That shirt with the bejeweled Sexy Baby Doll across the chest is the fashion equivalent of a place that claims its in a safe quiet neighborhood but has bars on the windows.
If you are truly sexy, he’ll figure it out on his own.

T-shirts that say Porn-Star across the chest.
Lots of guys secretly fantasize about sleeping with an adult film star. Not very many guys fantasize about sleeping with a woman who wears a T-shirt that says they’re an adult film star. Case and point.

Printed Tees with questionable sayings.
Unless you know the person beforehand and can guarantee that they’ll get your ironic sense of humor (because we’re hoping that if you are wearing any of these items its for ironic reasons), printed tees are always a gamble. Avoid any shirt that says things like I’m with Stupid, Who farted? or I eat every third date¦the second one just left. Just trust us on this one.

Mom Jeans.
We’re all familiar with this stone-washed, loose fitting, tapered, high-waisted denim nightmare that’s sole purpose is to give anyone who wears them the dreaded mommy butt. These are not yummy mommy jeans. These are the pants that are so ill fitting that they’ll make your butt look like its three feet long. Just don’t do it.

Vampire fan-girl apparel.
There is nothing wrong with getting wrapped up in a little bit of vampire mania. Just remember to leave your  I only date Vampires or Team Edward shirt at home.  That is, unless you are trying to tell your date that you’re more into dead guys (which means he has no chance) or, more appropriately dead teenagers. Because, you know “ that’s not creepy.

Chicken Cutlets.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to maximize what god gave you but, these little gelatinous babies are just false advertising. How would you feel if you went to cop a feel only to discover that he’d stuffed a sock down there? Not so cute. You want him to like you just the way you are so, leave the accessories that look like raw meat at home.

Granny panties.
There is no reason any woman should feel they need to own a pair(s) of this libido killing undergarment “ not when there are endless options for cute, comfortable boy shorts at our disposal. Even if your date never gets a chance to see them, you’ll know that you’re wearing them and that alone is enough to kill your dating mojo.

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Tags: bad outfits, date outfits, Dating, first date, first date tips, first impressions, mom jeans, Relationships, twilight, vampires

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Comments

  1. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I am insulted at the tips in this article. Everything thing you wrote is so glaringly obvious! Reading this was the biggest waste I’ve ever indulged in. Obviously you think that you are writing for 13 year old drop outs with an IQ of 10.
  2. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I am insulted at the tips in this article. Everything thing you wrote is so glaringly obvious! Reading this was the biggest waste I’ve ever indulged in. Obviously you think that you are writing for 13 year old drop outs with an IQ of 10.

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