Let’s say you met the man of your dreams. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a guy, whether it’s funny, charming, smart, sexy, tall, whatever. There’s only one catch “ he’s separated. As in, not quite married, but not really single, either. For some women this is an absolute no-go “ if a guy’s is not divorced, he’s married, and he’s not available. But for other women, this issue is not so black and white. Thinking about dating a separated guy? Try a few of these tips.
1) Remember, he’s not single
It goes without saying but sometimes a girl can forget that separated is not divorced. In other words, there is another woman, and it’s you. He still has a wife, and in-laws, and probably a lot of friends in common with his wife. Getting this clear in your head will help you to think more clearly if this relationship progresses into something more serious.
2) Think about money
Really. If your new guy is separated he may not have the kind of money you do “ he may be paying for two homes, two cars, etc., etc., which can get pricey for a guy. And this may not end after his divorce. If you are used to expensive dinners, vacations, and more, be thoughtful of doing things that he can afford and enjoy, too. Of course, this won’t be true for every separated guy, but it’s worth considering.
3) Get the facts
If you can (and if he’s really looking for a relationship, this shouldn’t be hard) about the separation. Did he leave her? Did she throw him out? Did she run off, or is he the runnee? Is this the first time he has separated from his wife, or the third or fourth? How long have the two of them been separated, and how far has the separation progressed (i.e., are there lawyers involved?) All of these issues are worth talking through with your new guy, and may help you avoid heartache in the end.
4) Are you attracted to his separation?
Maybe this feels like a commitment free relationship “ after all, if a guy is only separated and not divorced, there’s no real chance of rushing into things, is there? Or at least not much. Think this through again, as it is not fair to either party. A guy who is truly separated and intends to get divorced may be really looking for love, or at least a serious relationship, and it’s not fair to toy with his emotions. And if you are just looking for a chance to avoid commitment, that’s not fair to yourself, either.
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