Whether you plan it or not, sometimes first dates end with a “good morning” instead of a “good night.” But how do you know if it’s the right move?
First off, there are two rules to first date trysts that you should always follow: practice safe sex and DON’T drink too much (boozing can cause you to make impaired judgments that you might later regret.)
Other things to consider:
How well do you know your date?
Is your dinner companion a friend-of-a-friend or Mr. Mystery Man from an online dating site?
If you’re with someone you know and share a social circle with, you might feel more comfortable getting down after just one date. Just remember, if the first date doesn’t lead to a second, you will still have to encounter that person in social situations, so keep it respectful for the sake of your mutual friends and colleagues.
And if you’re getting friendly with Mr. Mystery Man, of course it might be tempting to have dessert at home. ALWAYS keep your personal safety in mind, especially with a stranger: you don’t know him and he’s not accountable in the same way as a dude you share a social network with. But if you do decide to sleep with him, there is an upside of hooking up with a virtual stranger: If it’s awkward, you don’t need to see him again.
Do you both want to do it?
You should never have sex because you feel it’s expected, and the same goes for the person you’re with. If things seem like they’re getting a little hot and heavy, stop for a minute to talk about what each of you expects from the fooling around. Not willing to commit to the whole nine yards that first date? State your position and stick to it — if you started out the night with the intention of keeping the first date just flirty and fun, there’s a real chance you’ll be kicking yourself in the pants (once you find them) if you don’t follow through with your intentions.
What do you expect from hooking up?
If you think first date sex is a shortcut to the wedding chapel, slow down. Don’t assume that hooking up after a single night of cocktails and conversations will automatically lead to a relationship. You have to consider that there may not be a second date, even after getting down. Don’t blame it on the sex, though — lots of first dates don’t lead to a second, even with nooky out of the picture.
What will you do if the sex is bad?
The number one thing that makes sex good for both parties is a level of comfort and ease — which is often the missing link when two people don’t know each other that well. There’s no such thing as good sex all the time, and while we all hope for mindblowing sex the first time we’re with a new partner, often it can be a little lackluster and awkward. If you think bad sex on the first date will leave you reluctant to have a second, respect yourself and your date — wait until you know one another better and are willing to get in some practice.