Stars! They’re just like us! But prettier! And richer! And way more likely to have their cell phones hacked the moment they try to text a naked picture to their boyfriend! But behind that poreless skin and those unbelievably white teeth there lie real brains with real thoughts. Here, we decode celebrity expressions to find out what deep thoughts they’re thinking:
Katy Perry, 2011 MTV VMAs
Sparkle. Panda. Candy. Pink. Glitter. Beep. Bop. Boop. Shiny. Twinkles. Sugar. Kitten. Sequin.
Kyle Richards, 2011 Emmys
Chin down. Shoulders back. If anybody asks, remember that you are PARIS HILTON’S AUNT!
Jennifer Lawrence, 2011 Oscars
Everyone looks way too surprised at how hot I look.
Paz de la Huerta, 2011 Emmys
Watch your back, Chloe Sevigny, there’s a new barometer for weird girls in Hollywood. And you’re looking at her and her flamingo-inspired dress right now.
Justin Bieber, 2011 MTV VMAs
If one more person asks if I’ve seen lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com
Jude Law, 2011 Oscars
Making eye contact will convince her that I have subscribed to GOOP.
Nicki Minaj, 2011 MTV VMAs
I wonder how many old people in the midwest will shake their head at this photograph in People magazine. Does this face make me more relevant?
Christina Hendricks, 2011 Emmys
If I change my pose even slightly, I risk hitting myself in the chin with my boobs. Will maintain glassy-eyed stillness.
Anna Paquin, 2011 Oscars
No. He’s not my dad. He’s my HUSBAND. HUSBAND.