He is the first man you learn to love and one of the most important people in your life, your dad! While on the search for the perfect companion, you may unconsciously look for characteristics that reside in the people you are close to. It isn’t unlikely that your father’s qualities, whether you like them or not, turn up in the men you date.
As a child you watched the way your father treated your mother, if he did romantic things for her or if they argued all the time, those experiences shaped how you act in relationships. Several physiologists have said that women tend to date people who are similar to the parent they had a more difficult relationship with. For many girls, that parent is their father. Others say that women date men like their father because they are familiar with his traits and those familiarities make them feel more comfortable and at ease.
Whatever the reason is, it is important to be aware of the qualities you don’t like and those that you do. Although it may be familiar, you might not love the way your dad always criticizes your work ethic. If your boyfriend follows in his footsteps, you need to address this. Tell him that you are used to sticking up for yourself when it comes to your relationship with your father, but you want to leave those childhood memories in the past. You can keep from heading down a dangerous path by letting him know you are sensitive to that kind of behaviour.
If you are a daddy’s girl and are used to being pampered and spoiled, beware boys! You may be looking for a man who will shower you with the same amount of love and gifts that daddy did. But, unfortunately that is a lot to compare to and many men are scared off at the thought of living up to those standards.
The qualities you love and dislike about your dad are likely to show up in the guys you date; after all they are all men! Learn how to recognize what traits compliment you the best. It doesn’t matter that he may mimic your dad, especially if you find those characteristics endearing in your father. For those not-so-great qualities, tackle them head on and let your man know that they didn’t fare well in the past and won’t work in the future.
