Beyoncé In The Lion King, Harry Styles In Suits, & Other Blessings

As we tend to chronicle on a daily basis, everything is burning and feels like death. So let’s take a moment to revel in the joy of the most important announcement in the world: Beyoncé© will play Nala in the upcoming The Lion King remake.

The singer/my personal Jesus posted a photo to Instagram to confirm her role in the film, and made waiting for 2019 worth it, bless us everyone. Also, she joins Donald Glover (Simba), James Earl Jones (Mufasa), Alfre Woodard (Sarabi), Chiwetel Ejiofor (Scar), Seth Rogen (Pumba), Billy Eichner (Timon), Eric Andre (Aziz), John Kani (Rafiki), John Oliver (Zazu), and Keegan-Michael Key (Kamari).

Which brings me to my next point: okay, so maybe we use this news to just acknowledge some of the things that aren’t the worst right now. Maybe we use the next five minutes to escape into news like The Lion King reboot or Harry Styles’ suits and then we consult this every time we need a reminder that not everything is absolute garbage. We can do that, right? Consider this the My Favourite Things equivalent of me screaming into the internet and hoping it answers back with just a simple, “Miss, please lower your voice, people are trying to shop here.”

Here are the things we can take solace in while avoiding the dumpster inferno.

  • The Lion King remake. We don’t deserve it, but we have been given it, and like the extraordinary Christmas gift you received from the family member you didn’t buy for,  you accept and hold it close, and thank whatever-higher-power-you-believe-in that it is yours.
  • Fenty Beauty. Or Fenty x Puma. Or whatever Rihanna does. Sometimes when I want to feel powerful I will use any Fenty Beauty product and think, “I am not even close to Rihanna, but she made this, and therefore it is like being her friend.” And in that moment, I swear I am infinite.
  • Holiday beverages. They’re basic, who cares. (Not me.)

  • Harry Styles. Just knowing he exists in the world. I know I mentioned suits earlier, but think of them as two separate things: on the one hand, the suits in themselves are works of art. On the other, Harry Styles with or without the suits is a beautiful precious treasure, too good for this world, too pure. When in doubt, just watch videos of him doing literally anything. Allow happiness to enter your black heart.
  • Niall Horan. I saw him in concert last time. I am 99% sure he has no idea he was ever in a band. Imagine that level of innocence. Bless him. Keep him safe.
  • Boots. We know I hate summer and would be so happy if it never, ever came back, but even if you hate autumn and the current November landscape (you’re wrong if you do, but we’ll talk about that later), you know you love wearing boots way more than sandals. First, because sandals are the worst. Second, because boots are perfect and beautiful and make outfits better. Your outfits are better now. This is a small silver lining, but it is a silver lining nonetheless.
  • Pie. Pie is so good. I ate pie for breakfast. Think about eating pie directly from the dish. Make that your go-to mental picture when you need to relax.
  • The Great British Bake Off. It ended this week, but reruns are forever.
  • The Crown. I don’t care if you hate the  monarchy, I don’t care if you don’t care about Queen Elizabeth. As of December 8, we get to live vicariously through Princess Margaret’s style.
  • Lists. Isn’t this fun?
  • I, Tonya. Bet you didn’t know how badly you needed a Tonya Harding movie until you saw the preview for the one starring Margot Robbie. I’m typing this from the lineup I’ve formed outside the movie theatre, by the way. Somebody buy me a “NO COMMENT” sweatshirt. I’m so cold.

See? We did it. And this is way better than The Sound Of Music because I’m not making anybody sing and dance around my bedroom. Which, by the way, I would not allow. I’m the Captain Von Trapp of this operation.


Tags: Anne T. Donahue, topstory

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