Well you guys we did it, it’s Friday, and we’ve made it to the end of our first political misery marathon. (How’d you do? Are you drinking enough water? Are you ready for a couple hundred more weeks? You can do it, I promise — you have to, mainly, because you have no other options, and we’re all sailing aboard this shit cruise together.) But look: here is some (good) news to tide you over.
Sir Elton John will be writing songs for an upcoming The Devil Wears Prada musical, making this both the hero we need and the hero we deserve right now.
“I’m a huge fan of both the book and the feature film, and a huge aficionado of the fashion world,” he said in a statement. “I can’t wait to sink my musical teeth into this hunk of popular culture.”
And that’s basically it, details-wise! But okay hello, I have an idea. Because I am 100 per cent sure that Sir Elton John reads everything I write and have ever written, here are my pitches for the songs I better see in this upcoming production. Feel free to add your own at the bottom, but also how dare you question anything I do or think anything I do needs to be better.
Here we go! The songs I better see in The Devil Wears Prada musical or else;
- [cover of KT Tunstall’s “Suddenly I See,” sung by Sir Elton himself]
- “Honestly Though What’s Up With Andie’s Layers?”
- “Onion Bagel”
- “Emily Blunt Is Better Than You”
- “How Do We Feel About Meryl’s Hair in This Movie?”
- “Stanley Tucci is a Motherfucking God”
- “Did You Know Stanley Tucci is Married to Emily Blunt’s Sister?”
- “Andie is Grossly Incompetent”
- “Who Brings Newspaper Clippings Glued Onto Construction Paper to a Runway Interview?”
- “It’s Not Cute That You Don’t Know Shit About Shit, Andie, Seriously”
- “That Christian Dude is Fucking Weird”
- “Are You For Real That Adrien Grenier Can’t Handle His Girlfriend’s Professional Life?”
- “Honestly Nate The Boyfriend is a Baby Bitch”
- “He’s an Adult Man Who Can’t Handle His Girlfriend Missing His Birthday, and That’s Bizarre”
- “Cerulean”
- “That’s All”
- “How Does Andie Not Own a Pair Of Professional Pants?”
- “Liking Fashion Doesn’t Make You Stupid, BTW”
- “We All Wanted Andie’s Bangs”
- “How Did Christian Get That Harry Potter Manuscript”
- “Honestly For Sure Someone Got Fired For That”
- “ANDIE’S FRIENDS ARE TERRIBLE”
- “What Kind of Basic Adults Play Keep-Away With Their Friend’s Phone?”
- “I Can’t Believe She Threw Out That Steak”
- “How Did Andie Get Home From Paris?”
- “Everybody Wants To Be Us”
- “Everybody Wants To Be Meryl Streep, Especially”
YOUR TURN.
