It seems like just yesterday that young, modern women were teasing their hair to prep it for Bump-Its, donning their Sun-In for that natural Californian glow, and hitting the streets with their newly ironed locks ala Gwyneth ’98. So, with a new season upon us, it’s only fair that we have a laugh at our premature expense and declare our choices for what beauty trends we’ll deem laughable in just a few short years “ or months.
(Super Long) Nail Art
We don’t want to hate “ really: this season’s bling-inspired approach to nail art is an interesting venture from the days of playing it safe with French manicures and basic black. But when it comes to the trends we consider dated and a little over-the-top, you’ll have to wonder how we’ll justify super-long nails of the 1990s when explaining the looks 2011 (unless, of course, worn as a tribute). But like airbrushed flowers were a must-have circa 2003, the “gems” of the 2010s will soon have their place in the “I can’t believe I did that” category “ so bling it up while you can.
For the record, Rodarte is fantastic, but what’s less fantastic is the gold lip colour showcased during their spring 2011 shows which prompted women to adapt the latest “trend” (?) to suit their beauty regimens. Sure, 2011’s earned a reputation for its hard, minimalist edge, but in terms of cosmetology and “why is this a thing?” you’ve got to wonder how gold lipstick could successfully translate to day-to-day wear – or even seem appropriate for a night on the town. Luckily, black, blue and two dimensional pastel pink are also close competitors for the year’s laughable beauty trends, but in terms of shades that take shimmer too far, gold lipstick takes the cake.
The “gothic aesthetic” of 2011 is one that should be championed, but in terms of makeup of the dark side, to embrace the “goth” over “gothic” is a serious face-palm waiting to happen. To combat the seasonal affinity for brights, certain designers have showcased the likes of velvets, lace dresses and dark eyeshadow, but when it comes to channeling the Corpse Bride over Easter chic, fashionistas of the future may want to take a cue from springtime’s affinity for liveliness. Is it necessary to don neon? Of course not – but since you’re living on Earth, you may as well look like it.
Tweezing and waxing are a pain – we understand – but when it comes to abolishing eyebrows altogether, it seems almost more appropriate to shave them off completely than to bleach them for drama’s sake. (Yes – exactly.) This year, we saw Florence Welch and countless models take to the runway without the necessary facial identifiers, thus prompting a trend that saw the most avant-garde lose the one attribute that conveys emotion and defines the face. Our cardinal rule? Bleach away provided your hair colour matches. If not? Join us in passing judgement.