It’s sad but true “ too many smart, sexy women have a thing for bad boys that they just can’t shake. But the fact is, what may seem attractive in the short run usually just leads to long-term heartache.
It’s time to take a closer look at your dating track record and say goodbye to the guys that won’t treat you right.
Pinpoint exactly what you’re attracted to
Do you feel sexier when you’re around guys that treat you like an object? Are all these jerks a dead ringer for your first highschool boyfriend? (you know, the one that dropped you for your BFF?) Figuring out what makes you fall for meanies may help you to realize that you can get what you’re looking for elsewhere. If they are preying on your insecurities and that turns you on “ that’s problem and you need to get to the bottom of it.
Forget about “saving” him
You know how you always secretly hope that you’ll be the one to make that leopard change his spots? Yeah, not gonna happen. But if it does, make sure you let him prove it to you. It’s not your job to get him to open up, get over his past issues with women, learn to love, or really trust someone.
Listen to your friends
If you’re having trouble distinguishing between the shades of grey between jerk and future nice guy, get some more objective advice. It can be hard to hear that the guy you’ve fallen for is a loser, but sometimes it’s what you really need. And before you get defensive (usually the reason that friends are afraid to say what they really think), press rewind: have they been right about someone before?
Don’t automatically dismiss “Mr. Too-Right”
We sometimes automatically assume that good guys = boring (I think we’ve all seen a few too many rom coms, no?). But just because a man has a decent job, shows up on time, and tells you how great you are doesn’t mean he can’t also be hilarious and fun (and know his way around the bedroom, to boot).
If all else fails, think in his terms
When you just can’t stay away from a bad boy, never lose sight of the fact that you’re not in it for emotional intimacy or long-term stability. As long as you don’t expect anything more than fun sex, you should be fine. And then you can be the one to say ‘sayonara’ when someone better catches your eye.
Image Credit: Alex Turner / Splash News
“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, ‘Who are you as a person?'” Michelle said. “Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul…. When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good…. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”
I thought it was good advice considering I’ve had a history of dating jerks – I did a few telling things like a broken record that led to a broken heart – TWICE:
1. Ignored red flags
2. Overlooked how I felt about myself when I was around them
3. Totally was willing to love them unconditionally without looking out for myself
4. Lost sight of my own goals, dreams, social life, responsibilities and passions
“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, ‘Who are you as a person?'” Michelle said. “Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul…. When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good…. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”
I thought it was good advice considering I’ve had a history of dating jerks – I did a few telling things like a broken record that led to a broken heart – TWICE:
1. Ignored red flags
2. Overlooked how I felt about myself when I was around them
3. Totally was willing to love them unconditionally without looking out for myself
4. Lost sight of my own goals, dreams, social life, responsibilities and passions