She’s bubbly, talkative and popular in every way. You’ll never catch her home on a Friday or Saturday night and her Facebook page has 500 friends on it “ 200 of which she has probably never met. Chances are you’ve encountered, met or were even friends with someone who was a social butterfly. Whether it was in elementary or high school or even now in the workplace there is always that one woman (or guy) who oozes confidence and excellent social skills making you a little green with envy over their personable skills. But don’t retreat to a dark corner in a room just yet “ here are some useful (and practical) tips to become a social butterfly yourself, even if you’re the shiest person in the world.
DO shed any past perceptions about who you used to be
Did your friend’s tease you in elementary school for being a brown-noser? Were you more interested in reading books on Friday nights in high school than going out? If so, who cares? If you want to evolve in your personal social life its time to shed any negative personality perceptions you once had of yourself. One way to do this is to take those negative perceptions and use them to your advantage. If still enjoy reading books on a Friday night start a book club with other like-minded people and put a spin on it by adding a dinner night at the end of every reading to make it more of a sociable event. The key here is not to let your past define you, but to help improve who you are.
DO go outside of your comfort zone – in a comfortable way
This is almost a given when trying to get into the social scene. Everyone from your friends to your family to your coworkers will tell you that in order to become a social butterfly on the scene you need to expand your horizons. However, this doesn’t mean attending an underground rave as your first party experience. Instead choose an event that you wouldn’t normally attend, but feel like you could handle it with a little courage. Just remember it’s all about taking baby steps and meeting new people in new settings and in no time you’ll be comfortable in just about any atmosphere.
DO take advantage of resources
It seems kind of weird to refer to college or university social groups or work cliques as resources, but that’s exactly what they are when it comes to getting in the social game. Your communication skills can really blossom when you’re around people who have similar interests in you. Good ways to become immerse in your settings, whether at school or in the workplace is to always look out for opportunities that interest you. Check out bulletin boards at your work for company-organized events or make sure to follow the Facebook page for your schools social calendar to keep informed.
DON’T base your social skills on a fear of What ifs
If you were a shy person like I was for most of junior high and high school, you would know that the shyness and the fear of rejection play a BIG part when trying to mix and mingle with a crowd and the ˜what if’ scenarios plague you’re mind with negative questions like ˜What if they don’t like me?’ or ˜What if I’m not funny enough?’ The most easiest and evident way to get rid of this is to accept the results, either positive or negative, and just go for it. So what if they don’t find you funny “ someone is bound too, and so what if your not that talkative “ some people just want to be listened too. Once you take the fear out of a social situation and try to just enjoy yourself and the whole situation will work itself out.
DON’T feel pressured to become a social butterfly right away
If you don’t start getting invited to all the A-list parties or weekend getaways to Montreal from aspiring friends right away don’t get discouraged. It takes time to build up friendships, let alone acquaintances. One of the most desirable traits of sociable and popular people is that they naturally attract people by just being themselves and highlighting their personable characteristics. Focus on just reaching out and meeting new people and make that your goal first.
