How’s everybody doing after yesterday? Also, was anybody really upset? If so, tell me why and how because as much as we all knew who Angelina and Brad were, I don’t think a lot of us were invested the way we are in, say, Jay Z and Beyonce or even Kim and Kanye (my parents). Like, it sucks that Brangelina divorced but also . . . people get divorced? Am I just super jaded? Am I ruining everybody’s “You go, Aniston!” buzz? Probably! So let me restore your faith in love with this little gem:
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes might be married.
According to the most reliable source in the world, Us Weekly, Ry-Gos and Ev-Mend allegedly got married in secret earlier this year (and by “secret” I mean “they did not tell their publicists to tell everybody and just acted like normal people”).
Said a source:
“Eva and Ryan have always felt like a married couple. They are infatuated with each other.”
And honestly, that’s awesome, but also we can all 100% agree that if any of our close sources described any of our respective relationships that way, we would probably oust them out of the inner circle? (“Anne, you and Leo have been together for 43 years! How do you make it work?” – “WE ARE INFATUATED WITH EACH OTHER.” – “I am so infinitely sorry I asked.”)
Anyway, the couple are proud parents to two girls, and they seem like the only actual “Hollywood” couple I would like to hang out with as a living person. Bringing me to my next point: none of us know Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and we will never know them and honestly I’m kind of grateful because that’s just too much fame. TOO MUCH.
Frankly, if celebrity divorces have taught me anything, it’s that being super famous seems absolutely awful. Like Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling? Famous but like, Eva Mendes for sure could go to the grocery store and just be a grocery store shopper. But Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt would have to take a helicopter and secret service to the Olive Garden. YOU KNOW? Anyway. This has been quite a week. And it’s only Wednesday.
I hope nothing happens today.