…And they didn’t name her “Anne.”
I mean, come on. When news broke last night that Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling welcomed a second daughter into this world, weren’t you shocked and appalled they didn’t name her after me? Me, a person who has written endlessly about the likes of Justin Timberlake’s choice of headwear and/or a number of other topics, more memorable than the last?
But no. Instead, Mendes and Gosling have ushered in their daughter with the name Amada Lee, which is a beautiful name, but isn’t “Anne T. Donahue” which it 100% should be.
According to TMZ, Amada was actually Eva’s grandmother’s name (which is cute and makes sense), and is also their eldest’s (Esmerelda) middle name. And get this: it’s not like Amada got here last night. Girlfriend was born on April 29 at Providence St John’s Health Center in Santa Monica — which only re-affirms the secrecy surrounding Mendes and Gosling’s personal life. May I remind you that we only learned of the pregnancy two weeks ago, so guess who has absolutely no time for the paparazzi culture that’s come to define celebrity life? Everyone mentioned in the above story, minus me, who would gladly talk all about her pregnancy with Ryan Gosling should that ever happen. (It won’t. I know it won’t. Calm down. Let me just write and live for once in my life.)
Which I respect. Fine. Take your lovely private life and your beauty family and enjoy it, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes. Enjoy your lovely daughters and healthy relationship and normal lives and great careers, and don’t tell us anything. Let us guess. Let us assume that you vowed the next child would be named after me, a national treasure, and that Amada’s middle name is actually “Anne T. Donahue” in full, therefore ensuring her success and beautiful destiny. Let us assume all of those things.
But also, congratulations, you crazy kids. I have no idea what your children look like but I bet they’re beautiful, so three cheers for you, you sweet precious beings. Feel free to toss some photos my way. Or don’t. Whatever. You’re not better than me. (Yes you are.)
