When the waters of your once-perfect relationship get a little rough, don’t automatically jump to the worst possible scenario. Before seeking professional help, and spending a lot of money, try your own at-home counseling sessions. It will take commitment from both of you, but with these ground rules in place, it could set you back on the path of love.
Be honest:
There is really no point in holding back when you hit a rough patch. Perhaps a miscommunication or not telling your partner everything is what got you to this point in the first place. It takes some guts, but lay it all out on the line. For your relationship to work, let alone be mended, you or your partner can’t hold back what it is you really want in life and in love. By being honest, you will both feel that you are moving forward with your own wants and needs and then you can tackle pleasing and being with each other.
Pick a safe place:
Nobody likes to over hear a couple having an argument at the movies, dinner, the mall or the local coffee shop. If you think things are going to get passionate and heated, pick a safe place where you can really air things out. Being out in public will only make you both self-conscious and feel more uncomfortable. Your living room or kitchen table will allow you both to be comfortable in your own surroundings and will also make you both feel safe. If you feel like you need to get out to talk about some issues your favourite park or a scenic drive are good alternatives to your living room and are still private places.
The heat of the moment:
Everyone has said something they regret in the heat of the moment at least once in a relationship or friendship. So, learn from your mistakes and don’t get caught saying something nasty when you get heated that you will regret instantly. A good rule of thumb is to count to five or 10 if you feel yourself erupting. Some people say that fighting means there is still passion in the relationship and that is true. But there is nothing passionate about calling your partner a hurtful name out of anger that you really don’t mean.
Avoid conversation overload:
If you both are tired and have been hashing it out for hours then give it a rest. Often we are so quick to try to solve things all in one sitting, and that is really not realistic. By sleeping on it, revisiting the issue later in the day, or just taking some time away from each other, you will find yourself with added clarity about your feelings and what you want. Talking to friends and family about the situation can help, but don’t let yourself be swayed by many conflicting opinions. Stick with your gut and weigh the good with the bad…if at the end of the day you both still want some of the same things and are on the same page, than the juice may just be worth the squeeze.
