Here’s What I Think Westworld is About

I have never seen Westworld. I will probably never see Westworld because I am tired all the time and also because I only watch Planet Earth 2, Great British Bake Off and The Crown, and the idea of adding another show to the mix is daunting and I hate it.

But all of you love Westwold. Goddamn, you love Westworld. Everyone has an opinion on Westworld, and as the season finale creeps up, I have thoughts and theories on what Westworld is about. Here’s what they are:

• Robots
• Cowboys and robots
• Thandie Newton, like . . . walking around?
• Evan Rachel Wood
• Evan Rachel Wood’s experience filming Across The Universe
• The Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen film, How the West Was Fun
• A behind-the-scenes look at the making of The West Wing
• The wild west
• The Will Smith film, Wild Wild West
• What happened after Fieval went west
• The opposite of every Mae West movie
• Adam West
• Dresses
• Walking around
• BIG REVEALS
• Computers?
• Steve Jobs?
• Bill Gates
• Hacking into the mainframe
• Whatever it is the little girl did in Jurassic Park to make the doors open
• Dell computers
• The woman who used to say, “You’ve got mail!” on AOL
• The other story of You’ve Got Mail
• Haircuts
• Whether any of you remember that Evan Rachel Wood was in Practical Magic
• The actual opposite of Practical Magic
• Blouses
• Suits (not to be confused with the series, Suits)
• Flattering lighting
• #technology
• Why Mac stopped making those really fun colourful bubble computers
• Why Jobs didn’t get better reviews (the movie, not the man)
• Why Jobs didn’t get better reviews (the man, not the movie)
• Kate Winslet’s accent in Jobs
• How 10 years ago we had Bob Hope, Steve Jobs and Johnny Cash and now we have no Hope, no Jobs and no Cash
• How it was actually more than ten years ago we had those things
• Sting
• Emails
• Why selecting “unsubscribe” never works for me and why I always still get emails from Hulu despite never having subscribed to Hulu
• The Twitter fail whale
• The extinction of the Twitter fail whale
• All 140 characters of Twitter
• Why I can’t scroll through Twitter for less than 14148 minutes at a time
• Why Leonardo DiCaprio won’t follow me back on Twitter
• Why Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t win an Oscar for Romeo + Juliet
• Why Leonardo DiCaprio and I haven’t dated yet
• Leonardo DiCaprio
• This post
• This post that will make Leonardo DiCaprio fall in love with me

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Image courtesy of HBO Canada