Thanksgiving is a magical holiday. It has always been a favourite of mine because it wasn’t about presents or zombies. It was about getting together, eating so much food that you think that you might die and then eating turkey sandwiches for the rest of your life. If Kris Jenner has taught us anything it is that you can celebrate Thanksgiving year-round just by dressing like a pilgrim every day of the week.
But if you aren’t quite as krazy as Kris is for a peter pan collar, here are some other things we do at Thanksgiving that we should probably just do all year round.
1. Making multiple pie varieties for one meal.
2. Eating stuffing. Seriously. Why don’t we eat stuffing every damn day?
3. Randomly yelling “Gobble gobble” at our loved ones.
4. Cooking and eating an entire turkey. Two words: meat sweats.
6. Leftover turkey sandwiches. They should be their own food group, really. (Moist-maker optional.)
7. For real. Stuffing. You guys. Why?
8. Doing a thing differently from America. It always throws them off when we do our own thing.
9. Saying thanks, I guess.
10. Pardoning turkeys. There is no way those turkeys committed any kind of criminal offence. Can we just assume that all of the turkeys are probably cool?
11. Getting together with family without the necessity of presents.
12. Donating to food banks.
13. Finding new ways of cooking a giant bird. It seems like there is a new trend every year. I wonder if everyone is over deep fried turkey yet.
14. Setting the table so beautifully just to get it covered in gravy.
15. Centrepieces. Treat yo self with a dang centrepiece on a Tuesday.
17. Fighting with family.
18. Forgiving family.
19. Getting together for a dinner that doesn’t involve anything other than being grateful and spending time with your favourite people whether they are friends or family or both.
20. Celebrate my sister’s birthday. It is on October 6. Her favourite food is pumpkin pie. It works out well for everyone.
21. Drinking so much wine that you can’t be sure you ate enough stuffing.
22. Wearing those little paper crowns throughout an entire evening.
23. Making everything in warm earth tones. Them fall colours man. I need them all. All year.
24. Waking up from your turkey nap to eat leftover turkey sandwiches because you’re hungry again even though you already ate your body weight a few hours earlier.
25. Making everything look like a turkey. Is it a pumpkin? Is it a turkey? Probably one or both; it’s Thanksgiving.
26. Adding a totally unnecessary condiment to the menu. Seriously. What is cranberry sauce even for? Does anyone know?
27. Eating mashed potatoes and gravy (and more stuffing).
28. Having parades. There should always be parades.
29. Eating so much that you literally have to nap.