Last night… on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3: If Helen Mirren and Natalie Portman split a bottle of wine and swapped fart jokes it might look something like last night’s Oscar-bait parody My Best Squirrelfriend’s Dragsmaids Wedding Trip, which imagined Oscar darlings in a raunchy comedy.
Still shooketh from BenDeLaCreme’s exit last week and the return of Morgan McMichaels, the queens got another shock when Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi poked her nose into the Werk Room for one second. “Every time you get in drag, you are making a political statement,” Trixie reflected. Can I get an Amen?
For the Maxi challenge, Morgan was the Greta Gerwig of the group, casting the Queens in some memorable Oscar-y roles, yet she herself was out of step as bonkers ballerina Beige Swan. Shangela excelled at pie-making maid turned rocket scientist Actavia and won the challenge, alongside Trixie Mattell as redneck revolutionary Sharon Frockovich.
Same. @trixiemattel #AllStars3 pic.twitter.com/z2JkgLKc7J
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) March 9, 2018
The remaining three — Morgan, Kennedy Davenport, and Bebe Zahara Benet — were by default the bottom queens. In Lipsync For Your Legacy, Trixie’s Hubba-Bubba pink catsuit and tepid performance couldn’t compete with the Bubblicious booty of Shangela doing the Cabbage Patch in a fat suit. Shangela won and sent home her “sister and friend” (until this) Morgan.
LIVING 🙌 @itsSHANGELA @trixiemattel #AllStars3 pic.twitter.com/EDHTcEyMf6
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) March 9, 2018
But awards season’s not over yet! These queens may be no Fran McDormand, but they still deserve recognition from the 29Secrets Academy of Shade!
Most Bad and Bougie: Bebe Zahara Benet as Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth
Bebe put a lot of herself into her role as The Queen, and by that we mean she put on a crown and acted the same as always. The O.G. Drag Race winner feigned disbelief when she was described as “bougie.”
Best Emma Stone Impersonation: Chris Colfer
Will we see a utopian future in which Glee star and, according to RuPaul, “Drag Race superfan” Chris Colfer enters Drag Race? Underwhelmed by Kennedy’s performance as Lala, a thinly veiled version of Emma Stone’s Mia from La La Land, Colfer did a brief-yet-brilliant impersonation that deserves its own Ryan Murphy Limited Series.
She’s quacking mad… it’s @morganmcmichael as Beige Swan! @rupaul @michellevisage @helloross @GarcelleB @ChrisColfer @vh1 @rupaulsdragrace #AllStars3 pic.twitter.com/4YDVQ1PfaB
— World of Wonder (@WorldOfWonder) March 9, 2018
Meryl-est Portrayal Of A Swan: Morgan
Morgan played mad ballerina Beige Swan with a comedic hiss that director Ross Matthews found underwhelming. Morgan protested that hissing is the only sound a swan can make, perhaps forgetting that he was actually playing Morgan McMichaels playing Natalie Portman playing a ballerina playing a swan. Ross coaxed Morgan into a happy medium of quacking, a stroke of directing so brilliant that Disney has now hired Ross Matthews to direct a Star Wars trilogy.
Most Enduring Curse: The Curse of the Returning Queen
Was Morgan set up to fail? She (correctly) noted that when a queen comes back on Drag Race, there’s no need to unpack, because she’s probably going home again the very next episode. As the traditional method of breaking a curse, making out with a woman in a coma, is prohibited by NBCUniversal’s Ethics Commission, this curse is expected to remain unbroken for all eternity.
This better be my wedding… #AllStars3 pic.twitter.com/7iVcES2foq
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) March 9, 2018
Most Beautiful Rendition of “Here Comes The Bride” Performed Through Farts: The Drag Race Ensemble
They say Meryl Streep can do anything, but we are willing to bet she can’t do this.
Next week on RuPaul’s Drag Race?: Bebe, Trixie, Kennedy, and heir apparent to the Drag Race throne Shangela compete in “the most ambitious production number in Drag Race herstory” on the season finale.
Here come the dragons!! 🐉 @itsSHANGELA #AllStars3 pic.twitter.com/Q2NGMVLshk
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) March 9, 2018
Will Bebe be revealed to be a RuPaul spy, thus explaining her suspiciously smooth ride to the top? Will Game of Thrones-obsessive Shangela be crowned Mother of Drag Queens? Will three-time Oscar nominee Octavia Spencer ever truly distance herself from poo pie?
Find out on the season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3, episode 8, which airs Thursday at 8 PM E/P on OUTtv.
Missed last week’s episode recap? Catch up on All Stars 3 Episode 6 here!
