Are you guys gearing up to watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on Monday? Me neither, but I did pay attention to the photos from the show on Wednesday. Particularly the one where Bella Hadid and her ex-boyfriend The Weeknd came face to face onstage and both seemed to act like the professionals they obviously are.
And then, to make matters worse (read: more mature, more professional, more cool), Bella took to Instagram to act in a way I wish I’d knew how to when I was her age.
“Thank you @theweeknd for being the best and most incredible performer on the planet,” she captioned. “You KILLED it, as always. I was smiling SO HUGE on the inside I promise!!!! The most fun and nerve racking experience of my life but I wish I could it over and over and over again!!!!!!”
So like, there you go. This summer, at age 31 (over a decade older than Bella, let me be perfectly clear), I was at a party with a bunch of people from high school and saw the guy I liked back in the early 2000s (actually) and I still made my best friend say hi to him before me because he needed to know how cool I was/how little I cared. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen (spoiler: I thought maybe he would cry, tell me how wrong he was to not have a crush on me in the year of our lord 2002, crumble in awe of my awesomeness, and I would go home the victor), but I can tell you that if I was walking down a catwalk and he was at the end singing songs from his hit album, my expression would be far less Angel and far more whatever expression you make when you see someone you really don’t like in line at the grocery store.
But obviously this is why Bella Hadid is a famous model and I am very happy not being that at all. This week we also saw her spot from the Victoria’s Secret advent calendar hit the internet, so obviously things are going pretty well for her and honestly, truly, bless you, bless her, bless Abel, bless my best friend for saying hi to the guy like I asked only to have him say he had to use the port-a-potty in our only exchange of the evening. Bless us everyone.
