How to Make the First Move

In third grade I gave a boy I liked a Valentine. He laughed, ripped it to shreds, picked me up by the back of my sweater and hung me up on a coat hook. Making the first move can be intimidating (and sometimes damaging to your wardrobe) but it doesn’t have to be.  Here are a few things to keep in mind next time you decide to approach someone you’re interested in.

1. Making the first move is all about having self-confidence.
You know you’re a hot tamale, so don’t be afraid to show it. If you need to give yourself a pep-talk, imagine the most confident person you know and try and channel some of their energy. In other words, don’t be afraid to get in touch with your inner Samantha Jones.

2. Be prepared to face rejection.
No one is going to try and hang you up on a coat hook or push you into a locker (unless you work in the public school system. In that case you might want to ask him out in the library). If someone tells you no, its not the end of the world. Would Miss Jones get bummed out if one dude rejected her? Nope. She would strut off in her stilettos towards the next guy, with the inner knowledge that the previous guy missed out on a good thing.

3. Hit on him the way you’d like to be hit on.
Do you like it when guys invade your personal space and try and feed you lame, worn out pick up lines? Of course not! Start by saying a simple hello and introducing yourself. Engage in conversation. Listen. Ask questions. Be friendly. Remember to smile!

4. Trust your gut.
If you’re getting the vibe he’s into you, keep the momentum going by suggesting you trade contact numbers. Remember, the worst thing that can happen is that he turns you down.

5. Be prepared to tell him NO.
Everything seems perfect until you find out he can’t go out with you on Tuesday because it conflicts with the meeting he has with his girlfriend/parole officer/Star Trek fan club. Thank him for chatting and politely excuse yourself (run!)

Now that we’ve covered the DO’s, here are a few DON’TS when it comes to approaching someone you’re interested in.

-Grab him and start making out with him or offer to perform other acts together ( this is what we call, “when channeling your inner Samantha Jones goes wrong”). This is a very straightforward way to let people know that you’re interested, however no one wants to deal with an angry girlfriend (or boyfriend) who may be lurking on the sidelines.

-Mention that you’re looking to get pregnant as soon as possible. Or any references that include the line I saw this amazing article in _________ (insert name of wedding magazine here) that I would love to show you

-Avoid awkward topics like my cat just died or I have this weird foot problem I’m trying to clear up or I’m renovating my bedroom to make room for my Lucky Troll collection (Unless of course, he mentions his own personal Troll collection first. If this happens, congratulations- you’re probably soul mates.)

Lastly, remember guys want you to make the first move. Its flattering having someone hit on you. By taking initiative, it means that they don’t have to.