From ombre anything to flatforms, there are some trends that refuse to die. While nail art may be here to stay, there are some trends that need to go.
Ombre
This trend is as pervasive as the Asian Carp ravaging the US waterways. Ombre on your hair, ombre on your nails, ombre on your walls, ombre in your cakes… when will this madness stop? The hair looks like your roots grew out five years ago, while your ombre craft project is far from Pinterest-worthy. I’d like to see ombre in only two places from now on: the sky and the ocean.
Mullet Dresses
The “analogous” hem trend was huge last summer, and this summer is back in more subtle iterations. While I appreciate the fact that I no longer have to see womens’ butts and upper thighs when they bend over at a club, the hem looks awkward, as if you cut the fabric on the bias and it rode up the wrong way. I don’t mind this look on a floor length gown, but if I see one more chiffon mullet skirt, I’ll scream.
Rockstud shoes
I know, they’re so “fashun”, but just because something costs over $1,000, doesn’t make it attractive. These shoes have been seen on a bevy of famous fashion bloggers and celebrities like Miranda Kerr, but the insta-obsession over these studded, point-toe shoes needs to die. The straps cut the line of your leg (so unless you have Miranda Kerr legs, maybe there are better options), and the studs are garish and tacky. At first, I liked the juxtaposition of a dainty pointy toe kitten heel with badass studs, but now it feels contrived and played out.
Flatforms
Which brings me to another footwear trend that needs to die- the beloved, man-repelling flatform. There is nothing more ugly and unflattering than a flatform. I’m tall and don’t like teetering on heels all day, but I would never dream of wearing a pair of creepers (or worse) flatform sandals to gain height without sacrificing comfort. Here’s a rule, if you want that added couple inches to your height, you gotta pay for it, your mother and the men in your life will thank you, because they won’t need to stare at your ugly, and “alternative” shoes.
Bearded men
The age of the metrosexual is way done, but I’m hoping the lumberjack-hipster-Brawny-man trend will go the same way soon. There is nothing more unappealing to me than a full soup and club sandwich strainer. A little bit of scruff is sexy, but when you start looking like you sell duck whistles for a living, I’m running for the hills.
