Last night… on RuPaul’s Drag Race: The stork came to the Werq Room, as the drag-curious men of social media were made over as the queens’ drag daughters.
In the mini-challenge, the queens man-ed up in masc alteregos as the faces of Trade, a new fragrance that might smell something like forest pine, Aqua Velva, and never showering. Eureka, wearing Mel Gibson Lethal Weapon hair and coveralls zipped open to reveal a tuft of chest hair, was the Dan from Roseanne you never knew you wanted to invite to bear brunch and deservedly won the challenge.
As part of her reward, Eureka got to assign the social-media stars to their respective drag queen mamas using a strategy that, in her words, would “be THEIR DEMISE!” While many of the social stars had never walked in heels, Kameron Michaels’ partner Anthony Padilla and Miz Cracker’s partner Chester See seemed at a particular disadvantage as they were both card-carrying heterosexuals (compare that to Asia O’Hara’s partner Raymond Braun, who declared drag queens “saints in our community”).
Yet once Chester lost the beard and gained a pink satin skirt as Miz Cookie, he entered the runway purse first and was declared “Marilyn Mon-ho” by Michelle Visage. Cracker finally won her first challenge.
✨🦋👏Condragulations, @miz_cracker! #DragRace pic.twitter.com/unoYbgDngT
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) May 25, 2018
The bottom queens were Monet x Change, who made Tyler Oakley up into a berserk-after-work basic, and Kameron Michaels, who brought the Mama Mia: Here We Go Again! in complementary metallic jumpsuits with out and proud heterosexual Anthony Padilla. After a Lipsync For Your Life to guest judge Lizzo’s “Good As Hell” that included cartwheels from Kameron and a slide from the back of the runway to the very brink of the stage by Monet that may have broken a vanity bulb or two, Monet was sent home.
What! We knew that justice is blind, but is Ru too? We have some awards of our own to present and they aren’t all as pretty as Chester See in a pink opera glove.
Most Dickmatized: RuPaul
Aquaria’s red fabric thrown over lingerie looks bore as much of a family resemblance as Kendall does to Khloe. We are starting to suspect that RuPaul sees more in Aquaria than just lewks lewks lewks.
⭐⭐⭐ Introducing Aquaria & Capricia Corn! ⭐⭐⭐ @aquariaofficial @Kingsleyyy @rupaul @michellevisage @helloross @lizzo @milesdheizer @rupaulsdragrace #DragRace pic.twitter.com/pv1c075Maw
— World of Wonder (@WorldOfWonder) May 25, 2018
The Joy Behar Voice Of Sanity Award: Ross Matthews
Kameron and his drag daughter Kelly were lambasted for not coordinating enough of a family resemblance by the judges. All except Ross Matthews, who declared he would “buy a ticket to whatever they’re selling.” Do matching metallic jumpsuits not scream drag sisters? Were ABBA’s Agnetha and Frida not sisters? They weren’t? First we’ve heard of it! If there was a fault in this sister act, blame the producers of Drag Race for not illustrating what went wrong, because from home, they looked like Money! Money! Money!
⭐⭐⭐ Introducing Kameron Michaels & Kelly Michaels! ⭐⭐⭐ @kameronmichaels @anthonypadilla @rupaul @michellevisage @helloross @lizzo @milesdheizer @rupaulsdragrace #DragRace pic.twitter.com/zjGkzw4ekr
— World of Wonder (@WorldOfWonder) May 25, 2018
The Justin Theroux Award For Best Prestige Cable Television Series Bulge: Frankie Grande
Frankie Grande seems like an open book, and that book is Life & Style magazine. But we have to agree with Eureka and preach the good news that not everything in the Grande family comes in Tinkerbell packaging. “It’s a beautiful thing to tell the world,” Eureka said as Grande hoisted Spanx over his tight briefs. Can we get an Amen up in here?
Putting the Grande in @FrankieJGrande! #DragRace 👀 pic.twitter.com/mXHft4z8U2
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) May 25, 2018
Most Likely To Have A Thick Layer Of Scar Tissue Circling Her Feet: Asia O’Hara
Hot tip: if you use a hairdryer to melt the acrylic strap that holds your foot in place on a pair of heels, they’ll clutch your foot better, at least according to Asia and Ru. We said it was a hot tip, we didn’t say it was a good tip.
Best Bonus Prize: Miz Cookie
Congratulations to Miz Cookie, a.k.a. social-media star Chester See. As the challenge winner, she not only won complimentary custom suiting, but her very own pair of gold lamé panties! Because nobody is asking for those back, right? RIGHT?
Next week, on RuPaul’s Drag Race?: Like sand through the hourglass, so are the gays of our lives, as the queens conjure their own evil twins.
Will it be revealed that Aquaria has been her own evil twin all along? Will Ru call Michelle Visage’s evil twins her boobs and then she will say, “ah-HA!”? Will guest judge Lena Dunham have something to say about herself, just for a change?
Find out on episode 11 of RuPaul’s Drag Race: Season 10 on Thursday, June 7 at 8 PM E/P on OUTtv.
