By Anne T. Donahue
This week, so much happened that writing about something that happened even 20 minutes ago seems grossly out of touch. But alas, here I am once more rooted in the past.
Earlier this week, a weird old man bid on and won a guitar he believed to be Taylor Swift’s. He paid $4000 for it and, with the enthusiasm of a suburban teen in a downtown rage room, proceeded to smash it.
A grown man! A real adult!
For the record, I’m not sure which is worse: the fact that this adult, grown, well over 50-year-old man (or so his goatee suggests) took delight in smashing what he believed to be the guitar of a 30-something-year-old billionaire pop star, or that of all the things to bid on for $4000, he chose a guitar that was actually not affiliated with Taylor Swift at all. (Bless his heart.)
In his defense, the money raised at this auction does reportedly go to agriculture education for youth in Texas. Great! Also, I am not the money police (try as I might), so while I would very much like to shame this man for buying a stupid thing he could’ve had verified before buying it (but obviously did not), it’s a free-ish continent, and he can part with his cash however he dreams to.
That being said, let’s talk about what’s most concerning here: in the year of our lord 2024, we have some rich guy trying desperately to assert his . . . wit and/or hatred of top 40 music (?) that he gleefully took a hammer to an instrument, believing he was making some bold-ass statement about Taylor Swift. That’s his cause. His big problem. Of all the auctions in all the states with all the guitars, buddy opted to hit up a benefit for education and show off that he’s $4000 worth of angry at the blonde lady who keeps selling out stadiums. It’s weird! His choice was weird! The fact that the guitar wasn’t verified before being listed is also weird! But it’s still not as weird as middle-aged men freaking out over pop stars!
I’m not a grand defender of Taylor Swift, but yikes. I write a lot about the crosswalk between gender and pop music, and while people have always reacted strangely to music that was never intended for them in the first place (see: the “disco sucks” movement – easily one of the most embarrassing movements to ever crystallize, thank you), there’s been one shining constant across history and top ten personalities: the pushback against pop, and the artists who populate it. (You know: as if the “classic rock” being touted as the pinnacle of culture isn’t currently playing on FM radio while you wait at the dentist’s office. Bless!)
But goddamn it, not every genre is for every person. Not everybody is for everyone! If you don’t like Taylor, that’s fine, that’s your business, but most importantly: why do you need other people to feel the same way? What are you trying to prove, and to whom? Are you upset with Chappell Roan’s current professional trajectory? That’s terrific for you! Don’t listen to “Pink Pony Club” the next time it comes on, despite its lyrical and melodic perfection. You don’t “get” Charli XCX? Take it somewhere else, because honestly I’m very busy trying to still learn the Apple dance despite being horrifically uncoordinated. As somebody who spent over a decade doing this, it’s a very exhausting thing to shape your identity into a justification for why you hate a famous person, and it’s even more exhausting to have to deal with it. Listen to what you want to listen to, bless the hearts of those who don’t share your artistic vision, and stop being so condescending. There’s a reason we all laughed at the jazz guy on I Think You Should Leave.
I think I’m just tired of whatever it is Mr. Guitar Smasher is purporting to be. Some rebel? A voice of reason? A dad who simply could not do it with a broken heart? There are millions of songs by thousands of artists across dozens of platforms. Surely, with that $4000, he could’ve picked up something cooler and used it for something better, or just admitted that he probably got super frustrated trying to learn the keys to “Red.”
Need a little more Anne? Read more from Anne T. Donahue right here!
