The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party Guide

Let’s be real: as fun as it is to get dressed up for black tie-only events, the true spirit of Christmas lies in the magic of the ugly sweater. And what better way to capitalize on everyone’s favourite party theme than by trumping the host and its attendees with the ultimate find? Patterns, colour schemes, three-dimensional effects “ we’ve got them covered. Here’s your guide to ruling the ultimate ugly sweater Christmas party.

Where
The biggest mistake you can make when hunting for the perfect sweater is to overspend. First, unless you intend on donning it more than once (which, for the record, some of us are happy to do), to spend upwards of $30 or $40 each is decidedly obscene. The perfect sweater is nearly always thrifted, and since stores like Salvation Army, Value Village and Goodwill boast bottomless selections, it’s reasonable to assume you’ll pick one up for under $10 (of which part will go to charity, making it even more justified).

What
If there’s prizes involved, the last thing you want is to cop out on sweater choice. (And no, strategically-placed accessories or a vest will not make up for a lack of sequins). For once, assume that the gaudier, the better: shoulder pads, feathers, tassels and even heart-warming sentiment (bonus points if you can find a sweater with words) will encompass the looks of Blanche Devereaux and Designing Women, while cartoons, button-on animals or anything from Northern Getaway will secure you on the ironic yet not front.

What II
The ugly Christmas sweater party is also the perfect excuse to begin a collection of novelty pieces you otherwise might not justify buying. Since the return of kitsch is back in full force, you can always pick up a sweater that borders the horrendous yet wearable, then after the party, pair it with high-rise skinny jeans, boots and a wrap scarf. You heard it here first: ugly sweaters are the gateway of a second-hand wardrobe.

How
Just because it’s a novelty piece doesn’t mean the rules of thrifting don’t apply. Meaning? If it’s stained, smells, ripped or a size too small, there’s no reason to pick it up and bypass other potentials. You’re not going to earn credit for wearing something with a history more extensive than Christmas itself, and the last thing you want is to be the person with a shrunken sweater emanating stale smoke.

When
It’s crunch time: the sweater party season is upon us, and the longer you wait, the more likely you are to be left with only a t-shirt flaunting a cartoon reindeer. Luckily, thrift stores are well aware of the need for warmth, so instead of waiting till the bitter end, head to a shop after work to prevent the weekend rush. (And if you think Saturday’s the perfect time to begin your thrifting, you’ve got another thing coming.) Armed with a coffee, a snack and a best friend, you’re bound to find the perfect sweater weapon that would make even Rose Nylund proud “ or maybe even Cliff Huxtable.