I know that with the impending end of the world it’s easy to forget about award season, but how dare you: the Golden Globes nominees were announced today, and I have some #opinions. (Just kidding: I have seen nothing this year. The last movie I saw in theatres was Fantastic Beasts and that was nominated for nothing, so I’m completely removed, and I just don’t care, I’m sorry.)
But! Here they are. The big ones. Let’s go:
Best Motion Picture — Drama
Hacksaw Ridge
Hell or High Water
Lion
Manchester by the Sea
Moonlight
Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy
20th Century Woman
Deadpool
Florence Foster Jenkins
La La Land
Sing Street
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama
Casey Affleck (Manchester by the Sea)
Joel Edgerton (Loving)
Andrew Garfield (Hacksaw Ridge)
Viggo Mortensen (Captain Fantastic)
Denzel Washington (Fences)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama
Amy Adams (Arrival)
Jessica Chastain (Miss Sloane)
Ruth Negga (Loving)
Natalie Portman (Jackie)
Isabelle Huppert (Elle)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Comedy
Colin Farrell (The Lobster)
Ryan Gosling (La La Land)
Hugh Grant (Florence Foster Jenkins)
Jonah Hill (War Dogs)
Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Comedy
Annette Bening (20th Century Woman)
Lily Collins (Rules Don’t Apply)
Hailee Steinfeld (Edge of Seventeen)
Emma Stone (La La Land)
Meryl Streep (Florence Foster Jenkins)
Best Performance by an Actor in Any Motion Picture
Mahershala Ali (Moonlight)
Jeff Bridges (Hell or High Water)
Simon Helberg (Florence Foster Jenkins)
Dev Patel (Lion)
Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Nocturnal Animals)
Best Performance by an Actress in Any Motion Picture
Viola Davis (Fences)
Naomie Harris (Moonlight)
Nicole Kidman (Lion)
Octavia Spencer (Hidden Figures)
Michelle Williams (Manchester by the Sea)
Best Director — Motion Picture
Damien Chazelle (La La Land)
Tom Ford (Nocturnal Animals)
Mel Gibson (Hacksaw Ridge)
Barry Jenkins (Moonlight)
Kenneth Lonergan (Manchester by the Sea)
And honestly that’s all I’m willing to give you guys, re: movies. Why? Because there are no less than 105158 categories and it’s Monday morning, and what do you want from me? So what do you think? You into these or what? This marks the first year I have seen literally zero of the films that were nominated, so look: your opinions are your own, and also check back in January when I’ll have undoubtedly raised that number to about four (see: Christmas holidays and how I spend my afternoons). Now! Onto TV.
Best Television Series — Drama
The Crown
Game of Thrones
Stranger Things
This Is Us
Westworld
Note: I hope The Crown wins because it’s actually all I care about right now. Carry on.
Best Television Series — Comedy or Musical
Atlanta
Black-ish
Mozart in the Jungle
Transparent
Veep
Note: Veep is my favourite TV show.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Drama
Rami Malek (Mr. Robot)
Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul)
Matthew Rhys (The Americans)
Liev Schrieber (Ray Donovan)
Billy Bob Thornton (Goliath)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Drama
Caitriona Balfe (Outlander)
Claire Foy (The Crown)
Kerri Russell (The Americans)
Winona Ryder (Stranger Things)
Evan Rachel Wood (Westworld)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Comedy or Musical
Anthony Anderson (Black-ish)
Gael Garcia Bernal (Mozart in the Jungle)
Donald Glover (Atlanta)
Nick Nolte (Graves)
Jeffrey Tambor (Transparent)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Comedy or Musical
Rachel Bloom (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep)
Sarah Jessica Parker (Divorce)
Issa Rae (Insecure)
Gina Rodriguez (Jane the Virgin)
Tracee Elliss Ross (Black-ish)
And honestly: this doesn’t even include the mini-series or the made-for-TV events or any of the other shows that populated our cultural landscape, but it’s a good start. Know that The People Vs. OJ Simpson was nominated, and as was Sarah Paulson, and honestly if it doesn’t sweep the mini-series/events/etc. categories I will walk into the Golden Globe ceremony, rip out a chair and set fire to it outside.
But also I should probably make clear that I have watched a total of six TV shows this year, five of them being seasons of Great British Bake Off so honestly maybe I’m biased (I am) (I don’t care). What do you guys think? Do you care? Did you even read down this far? Did you, like me, feel a little surprised about Arrival not earning a lot of nominations? Did you, like me, also think “Eh, what are you gonna do?” and move on with your life? Share your feelings. This is a safe place. Bless us everyone and congratulations to the nominees who are absolutely reading my opinions.
The 2017 Golden Globes will air on Sunday, January 8, 2017
