Last night… on RuPaul’s Drag Race: Call the obstetrician, cuz we’re crowning!
On the season ten finale of Ru’s, Asia O’Hara, Eureka, Aquaria, and Kameron Michaels triggered 10s across the board with their Lip Syncs for the Crown.
As the top four spun a wheel to determine who would lipsync first, the universe continued to tweet #TeamKameron. The wheel stopped on Kameron, giving her the chance to choose her competitor in Lipsync for the Crown. She chose Asia and they brought the stunts for Janet Jackson’s “Nasty.” Asia released live butterflies — (like real butterflies – someone call PETA!) — from her ample floral décolletage in an ill-conceived stunt that was a little Sasha Velour 2.0. Kameron was proclaimed the winner.
https://twitter.com/WorldOfWonder/status/1012500569246728192
Round two was truly the main event as frontrunners Eureka and Aquaria faced off to Janet’s “If.” The outfit reveals were equally epic: Aquaria unpeeled a silver bulb to reveal a pink-spiked stamen bodysuit, accessorized with a Miss Vanjie fan. Eureka whipped her wig off to reveal a Madonna Blonde Ambition-style high pony, then flipped her purple ruffles inside out to showcase a crimson red gown, then unzipped that to showcase a broken disco-ball bathing suit.
WEEEERRRRRRRK those dance moves! @aquariaofficial @Eurekaohara @RuPaul @JanetJackson @rupaulsdragrace #DragRace pic.twitter.com/F62jozoYYj
— World of Wonder (@WorldOfWonder) June 29, 2018
Did Aquaria have an advantage because she actually did the choreo from Janet’s “If” video? Apparently not, because in a shockeroo Ru declared them both safe. It’s RuPaul’s season ten catchphrase!
The final lipsyc was the matchup that was meant to be: Aquaria vs. Eureka, with Kameron “Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child” Michaels there for reasons that remain between Ru and her bouffant. In a performance to Ariana Grande, Jessie J, and Nicki Minaj’s “Bang Bang,” Eureka and Kameron came light on stunts, while Aquaria started with a literal firecracker and ended with confetti.
🎶 BANG BANG into the room! 🎶 @aquariaofficial @eurekaohara @KameronMichaels @RuPaul @rupaulsdragrace @JessieJ @arianagrande @nickiminaj #DragRace pic.twitter.com/xik6S7iig9
— World of Wonder (@WorldOfWonder) June 29, 2018
So after Drag Race took a few questionable detours into not eliminating Kameron, Aquaria finally fulfilled the prophecy (that she had made up) and became the future of drag.
But that can’t be the last award we’re giving out in season ten. Get Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty, because 29Secrets has one last round of big awards to present!
OMG it’s @Oprah! 😍 #DragRace pic.twitter.com/g8Dp3UXkzv
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) June 29, 2018
Most O No She Didn’t!: Oprah Winfrey
We don’t know what RuPaul has on Oprah (or…Stedman) but Empress O herself cameoed, delivering the Super O we’ve all been craving. “Thank you for letting us see that we are all just humans in drag,” she said.
Most Likely To Be Cut Up Into Tiny Squares and Shot Out Of A Confetti Cannon: The Drag Race Rules
Sure, a double elimination or a double save is fun once in an era, but this season Ru got slap happy with the safe stamp. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the public vote results for Miss Congeniality got thrown out the window and the season one queens just picked their favourite. They chose wisely with Monet x Change, but say the world wanted Vanjie? Is that so wrong? Let’s hope that Ru goes up into the mountains Moses-style before next season and comes back with some fierce Egyptian eyeliner and two heavy slabs of concrete that detail exactly what stunts the all-mighty deity can and can’t pull in future seasons.
The “Kurt’s Dad On Glee” Award For Most Inspirational Father (awarded posthumously): Mr. Asia O’Hara
It was nothing short of exploitive how often this season used the passing of Asia’s parents as a plot point. But Asia continued to carry herself like the true queen she is when Ru asked what she would say to them now that she was in the top four. To her dad, she said, “Thank you for showing me what kind of man I should be because it was through dressing up as a woman that I learned how to be a man.” If that is a pageant answer, sash us up because we are loving us some pageant!
Most Ready For Her Post-Drag Race In-N-Out Burger: Mariah Paris Balenciaga
And we thought that Oprah was going to bring the inspiration for the night! When season three queen Mariah Balenciaga approached the mic to ask Eureka a question on behalf of the fans, she began, “Miss Eureka, us being two queens from the south, we know we love our snacks. We love to savour, devour, and then there’s just some to throw away. That brings me to my question.” After Ru cackled her gold fringe off at the rambling leadup, the question was revealed: “Shag, marry, kill: your top three fellow sisters.” Shag Wendy, kill Dr. Oetker, and marry the Mama Burger.
The Sally Jessy Raphael Award For Cutest Golden Girls: Eureka’s mom and Kameron’s grandma (tie)
No shade, we died and are typing this from the joyous hot tubs of heaven after Judi Dench sent a video message. But there’s no comparing Dame J with Eureka’s mom, who is recovering from throat cancer, saying “I love you and you’re gonna do it” through her speaking valve, and Kameron’s grandmother sending a video message telling her “I love you dearly and always will.” We now know what an entire theatre full of people who have cried their makeup off looks like.
And all was well in the land! Until next season, Drag Racers!
#DragRace Finale is ovahh!
AMERICAS NEXT DRAG SUPERSTAR IS… @aquariaofficial! pic.twitter.com/mLtckSS56x
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) June 29, 2018
