I woke up this morning and realized it was December and immediately panicked because I don’t think any of us have made enough lists. Why? Because it’s list season. It’s the time of year we rank everything and judge everything and reminisce on everything, and if we don’t, the whole year is a waste and we have wasted it, and we have probably let down our parents, too.
Well, to that I say no more. On this, the first day of December, I have your back. I will not let you go list-less on this, the first day of the last month of the year. I’ve got more lists than you can shake a stick at. I’ll make sure that when you gather ’round the fire and contrast/compare the ups and downs of the last 365 days amongst your friends and family members, you’ll have fodder for weeks. Four weeks, specifically. Mainly, however many weeks we have left in the year.
Get ready to list this month, friend. Here’s a list of all the lists you can write:
1) The year’s best movies
2) The year’s best TV shows
3) The year’s best songs
4) The year’s best artists
5) The year’s best Drake
6) The year’s best turtleneck Drake wore
7) The best tribute to Adele on the Internet
8) The best impression you’ve done of Adele in the car, when the music’s turned up too loud for you to hear yourself
9) The best impression you’ve done of Taylor Swift in the car, when the music’s turned up too loud for you to hear yourself and you convince yourself that if you were to perform “Style” in a karaoke bar, [celebrity you love] would hear and fall in love with you immediately
10) Best celebrity you know would fall in love with you instantly upon hearing you sing karaoke
11) Best song to sing at karaoke that would lead to a celebrity falling in love with you
12) Best celebrity like, in general
13) Best Jonas brother
14) Best Bieber haircut
15) Best Bieber far-away/”I’m thinking hard” Instagram selfie
16) Best Bieber normcore outfit
17) Best reason Bieber and Selena should get back together
18) Best reason to cut off anyone who ever says Bieber and Selena should get back together
19) Best One Direction conspiracy theory
20) Best Zayn Malik hair colour
21) Best Gigi/Zayn photo opp
22) Best PR stunt of the year
23) Best Kim Kardashian Twitter response
24) Best North West look of disapproval/disgust
25) Best North West outfit
26) Best reason North West should be friends with me
27) Best reason my cat is meowing right now
28) Best end of year list
29) Best end of year list written by me
30) Best reason I’m the best
See? I’ve got your back.
