We’ve made fun of the beauty fads of decades past here before, but the truth is, we’ve got some pretty cringe-worthy looks of our own, right here in 2010. Which trend do you think people will point to in twenty years time and say that’s soooo naughties? (Or whatever it is we decide to call this decade.)
1. Over-the-top Enhancements
Duck lips, frozen faces, teeny-tiny noses, suspiciously firm DD cups “ we’ve seen it all, thanks to the miracle of plastic surgery. Don’t get us wrong “ we hope that someday someone comes up with a decent way of keeping us looking young. We just don’t want it to involve looking obviously botoxed and more than a little desperate.
Name and shame: Heidi Montag. And unlike our dalliances with spiral perms and frosted makeup, she can never really go back.
2. Jersey Shore Tan
Those crazy reality-TV kids have brought so much into our lives, but one of their most influential looks has got to be the burnt orange tan. We (sort of) understand wanting to look like you live a carefree life in the sun, but no person is actually this colour, so it just looks more like you live a bath-free life in the kool-aid.
Name and shame: Snooki. Who else?
3. Dirty Bronzer
Not to be confused with the tan (which at least usually has the benefit of being even) “ the dirty bronzer look is more brown than orange. The dead giveaway is the huge discrepancy between the colour on the offender’s neck versus their face. Blend, people!
Name and shame: Lindsay Lohan. Does she put the stuff on with her fingers?
4. Raccoon Eyes
A smoky eye is one thing, but this look throws subtlety to the wind. It’s basically just a solid ring of jet black around the entire eye area. There are less scary ways to make the point that you’re not a girly girl.
Name and shame: Taylor Momsen. Don’t you just have an incredible urge to grab her by the shoulders and shout, grandma-style, You’re such a pretty girl! Why do you put that stuff on your face!?
5. Heavy bangs
Full disclosure: bangs can be great, and yes, some lucky girls can even pull off a big, blunt fringe. But lots of us can’t, and when this trend caught on, we saw way too many people jump on the bandwagon who looked better when they had a forehead.
Name and shame: Jessica Alba. The effect was more momsy than cutting edge.
6. Grey hair
One of the more hipster-esque trends this year involved dying your hair a granny grey (sometimes bordering on blue). Of course, the look was really only adopted by young girls who wouldn’t have a natural grey hair on their head. It had to be ironic, get it?
Name and shame: Pixie Geldof. Plus a whole stable of pretty young models.
7. Blonde on black
This look has spanned the last decade, but we still see it way too often: bleached blonde over the entire top layer of hair, with dark brown or black underneath. The effect is more skunk-rock than punk-rock.
Name and shame: Avril Lavigne, although in her defense, that was about five years ago. It’s her imitators we’re more concerned about.
8. Hair extensions
We like the idea of hair extensions, but the technology is not quite there yet. Plus, they take a ton of upkeep, and before you know it, you can end up looking like that doll you hacked all the hair off of when you were a kid, only to realize that her locks came out of rows of little holes.
Name and shame: It’s Britney, Bitch.
9. Little girl hair accessories
Headbands are cute, but this trend took a turn for the pre-school at some point with the addition of toys, big bows, and animals. Should adult women be channeling Lolita?
Name and shame: Blair Waldorf. We love her preppy look, but her obsession with bows convinced even the best of us to walk around looking like baby-ladies.
10. Overly whitened teeth
Yes, there is such a thing as too white when it comes to your smile. We think this is another look that will eventually become synonymous with our celeb-obsessed culture.
Name and shame: Where to start? It’s impossible to pick on just one person, because almost all of Hollywood has gone overboard on this trend.
Do you have any terrible beauty trends to add? Or would you like to defend a look here that you think can be done right?
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