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Why You Need to Leave Town After a Breakup

The demise of a relationship can oftentimes feel like the demise of our livelihood. Whether you’ve done the breaking up or were broken up with, whether it was expected or not, it’s still hard AF to get through (and pretty impossible to accept) and even more difficult to move forward.

I’ve been there. I’ve wished for that same magic pill to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a relationship that ended too soon. But the truth is, wishing we could forget and move on or focusing on why it didn’t work out, won’t help us move forward and will only hold us back. It takes up our energy. It takes up our inner thoughts. And it takes up so much time what if’ing and wondering and analyzing with friends.

Throughout the years of coaching couples and singles on their dating life and going through the motions of my own, I’ve learned the best thing you can do for yourself immediately following a break up is to go on a last-minute, impulse vacation. And not just a go back to your hometown to visit your parents or a sibling, or to crash on a friends couch because you can’t stomach being alone, but a full blown all-inclusive, know what you’re spending in advance, not having to make any plans or be accountable for any catching up with people or having a set itinerary-type of vacation.

Because you are by no means at the place to deal with reality right now. How could you? You’re angry. You’re confused. Or if you did the breaking up (which is one of the most difficult things to actually do) you are relieved but don’t know where to go from here now that you have your freedom back. And you know that ignoring your ex’s inquiries will be better if your phone is on airplane mode and you can give them a chance to go through the stages of grief, without having to deal with their immediate anger, denial or confusion.

So where, pray tell, should you escape to? Somewhere down south with sunshine, an open bar, a ton of on-site activities (think yoga and dancing lessons to release endorphins!) that projects a vibe of fun and distraction. One of my fave trips over the year was this past summer, where I went to Riu Republica, the all new adults-only, beach-side Riu in Dominican Republic.

This place is the perfect post-breakup locale, because you can either have quiet time or be social and meet new people (I found that the pool on the left was the chill, zen pool, and the pool on the right was the playful, party pool. It’s such a big resort so you can get the best of both worlds. There are lots of restaurants and evening entertainment, so you can meet new people (or guys men, to get your mind off the breakup) or, if you need me time, you can go to the amazing spa and relax or find your thoughts on the expansive beach. Also, Nexus Tours has loads of cool excursions, so it’ll keep you active throughout your trip so you aren’t sitting around moping all day. The booze cruise is a particular highlight, which turned into a full-fledged dance party with the staff. I also hopped in the ocean when we stopped to check-out the water life and found a starfish!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know people say you shouldn’t run from your problems, and that this might come off like doing just that. But this is different. This is you taking care of your mental health and wellbeing in the immediate after math of a split. The same way professionals tell patients in Anger Management to remove themselves from a situation to gain control, calm down, and see it calmly, such is the case with this.

Now, what are you waiting for my new single sister? Pack nothing but boatloads of books, itty bitty bikinis and your fave few pairs of cheap shades (lets be honest, you’ll lose your expensive ones, and you’re already down and depressed enough) and head online to Signature Vacations (they exclusively fly to the aforementioned resort) and get the F outta here!

http://29secrets.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/29s_book-a-vacation-post-breakup-150x98.jpg Jen Kirsch RelationshipsWellness ,,,,,,,,

The demise of a relationship can oftentimes feel like the demise of our livelihood. Whether you’ve done the breaking up or were broken up with, whether it was expected or not, it’s still hard AF to get through (and pretty impossible to accept) and even more difficult to move forward.

I’ve been there. I’ve wished for that same magic pill to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a relationship that ended too soon. But the truth is, wishing we could forget and move on or focusing on why it didn’t work out, won’t help us move forward and will only hold us back. It takes up our energy. It takes up our inner thoughts. And it takes up so much time what if’ing and wondering and analyzing with friends.

Throughout the years of coaching couples and singles on their dating life and going through the motions of my own, I’ve learned the best thing you can do for yourself immediately following a break up is to go on a last-minute, impulse vacation. And not just a go back to your hometown to visit your parents or a sibling, or to crash on a friends couch because you can’t stomach being alone, but a full blown all-inclusive, know what you’re spending in advance, not having to make any plans or be accountable for any catching up with people or having a set itinerary-type of vacation.

Because you are by no means at the place to deal with reality right now. How could you? You’re angry. You’re confused. Or if you did the breaking up (which is one of the most difficult things to actually do) you are relieved but don’t know where to go from here now that you have your freedom back. And you know that ignoring your ex’s inquiries will be better if your phone is on airplane mode and you can give them a chance to go through the stages of grief, without having to deal with their immediate anger, denial or confusion.

So where, pray tell, should you escape to? Somewhere down south with sunshine, an open bar, a ton of on-site activities (think yoga and dancing lessons to release endorphins!) that projects a vibe of fun and distraction. One of my fave trips over the year was this past summer, where I went to Riu Republica, the all new adults-only, beach-side Riu in Dominican Republic.

This place is the perfect post-breakup locale, because you can either have quiet time or be social and meet new people (I found that the pool on the left was the chill, zen pool, and the pool on the right was the playful, party pool. It’s such a big resort so you can get the best of both worlds. There are lots of restaurants and evening entertainment, so you can meet new people (or guys men, to get your mind off the breakup) or, if you need me time, you can go to the amazing spa and relax or find your thoughts on the expansive beach. Also, Nexus Tours has loads of cool excursions, so it’ll keep you active throughout your trip so you aren’t sitting around moping all day. The booze cruise is a particular highlight, which turned into a full-fledged dance party with the staff. I also hopped in the ocean when we stopped to check-out the water life and found a starfish!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know people say you shouldn’t run from your problems, and that this might come off like doing just that. But this is different. This is you taking care of your mental health and wellbeing in the immediate after math of a split. The same way professionals tell patients in Anger Management to remove themselves from a situation to gain control, calm down, and see it calmly, such is the case with this.

Now, what are you waiting for my new single sister? Pack nothing but boatloads of books, itty bitty bikinis and your fave few pairs of cheap shades (lets be honest, you’ll lose your expensive ones, and you’re already down and depressed enough) and head online to Signature Vacations (they exclusively fly to the aforementioned resort) and get the F outta here!

Jen Kirsch kirsch.jen@gmail.com Author Jen Kirsch is a relationship columnist, dating expert and on-air personality. 29Secrets

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