YOU GUYS! The temperature hasn’t gone below zero in AT LEAST a week! Maybe more. I can’t tell anymore. I am blinded by the sunshine and flowers and merriment that surrounds us all when the snow is gone for good (until November) and I don’t have to wear the same stupid fleece-lined boots every day for my entire life!
We are all Maria right now. There is no -40 windchill keeping us from climbing every mountain. We all have confidence in sunshine.
In addition to all these things that I think about in the spring; I walk everywhere, I eat as many of my meals on patios as I can and I spend a lot more time wondering what the birds are thinking.
1. All of my leggings are now worn through from wearing them all winter
2. Man, I wish I hadn’t thrown away all of my worn-through leggings, it isn’t quite warm enough to go bare-legged.
3. Why do all of my ballet flats smell like that?
4. Where did I store all of my summer dresses again?
5. Wait, is that what my legs look like?
6. I forgot how much shaving was involved in wearing shorts.
7. Can I go back on my opposition to tanning beds yet?
8. How much bronzer can I put on until I start looking like a shimmering Oompa Loompa?
9. No seriously, what coat am I supposed to wear today?
10. Time to celebrate the Annual No More Socks 4 Lyfe Winter Boots Can Suck It with a pedicure.
11. My Birkenstocks may be crumbling and completely flattened but they are PERFECT and you will have to pry them from my cold, dead feet.
12. Let’s go to the park!
13. Look at the pretty, pretty flowers!
14. Can I sit here? Is the ground dry?
15. …The ground is NOT dry. Don’t sit there.
16. Has anyone ever died from a pigeon swooping at them?
17. Look! People playing frisbee!
18. Ow, my nose!
19. Why do people think frisbee is a good idea?
20. How do geese make so much noise while flying?
21. Actually, if I was a goose, I would would probably make those sounds too.
22. HONK, we have been flying for a week! HONK, are we there yet? HONK, when do we stop for snacks? HONK, why is my neck so long?
23. Will I need my umbrella today? It makes my purse so heavy.
24. You can stand under my um-ber-ella-ella-ella ay-ay-ay¦ For real though, this thing weighs a ton.
25. Wait, I also need to carry sunglasses to keep myself from going blind.
26. What is UP sun, can you have a at least a little bit of chill?
27. Oh, that restaurant doesn’t have a patio? Let’s go somewhere else.
28. It is freezing out here in the shade, can we switch tables?
29. I’m drinking a beer! I’m outside! Life is beautiful and full of wonder!