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When First Impressions Lie

First date strategies for telling when he’s not exactly who he says he is

So you’ve met a guy. Your first impression is he’s charming, polite, funny, handsome, sensitive, whatever positive characteristics that attract you to a man. But maybe, just maybe, there is something slightly off about him. You can’t put your finger on it, but he has some subtle behaviour that is sending some of your warning flags flapping. The truth of the matter is that some first impressions, no matter how fabulous, can be a lie. This isn’t a simple matter of a guy being on his best behaviour to try and impress you, it’s more of a matter of something being, well, not quite right. For some tips and clues for telling when that first impression is actually a lie, see below.

He’s well off, possibly even rich. The lie? He’s really a cheapskate, or drowning in debt. This guy has a fantastic car, tailored clothes, a Rolex watch and a taste for the finest wines. Clues this first impression is a lie – it’s too much. If you could see his underwear it would be designer, because this guy loves to spend, spend, spend, and his credit cards are maxed. Also sneak a peek at the check (of course he’ll pay) to see if he’s a cheap tipper, as this is a great way to see if he’s a cheapskate.

He’s got a great sense of humour. The lie? It’s only when he’s not the butt of the joke. This guy has an excellent sense of humour – about everything but himself. If he scowls or remains straight faced at even the lightest teasing, his sense of humour is not as great as he would like you to think it is. Many studies have shown women place a sense of humor high on the characteristics they desire most in a man, so he’s trying to move himself up on the chain for you.

He’s a gentleman. The lie? He’s really a pig. This guy has the most elegant manners you have ever encountered. He holds open doors, stands when you leave the table, listens to every word you say without interrupting, and seems almost too good to be true. Clues to watch for – wandering eyes. Do you catch him ogling other women when he thinks you aren’t looking, or do his eyes briefly touch on your breasts before making their way up? You may think you are imagining it but if your instinct tells you differently, you’re not.

He’s good looking and well-dressed. The lie? He’s actually obsessed with his appearance. He seems like your dream guy – those eyes, that smile, the way those jeans fit him. However, meticulous attention to detail may be a red flag for this guy. If he’s constantly touching his hair, fixing his shirt, maybe even checking his reflection in the bar mirror, he may be slightly obsessed with his appearance. Or even more than slightly obsessed.  

Sympatico Image

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Sally Murphy Relationships ,,,,,,,

So you’ve met a guy. Your first impression is he’s charming, polite, funny, handsome, sensitive, whatever positive characteristics that attract you to a man. But maybe, just maybe, there is something slightly off about him. You can’t put your finger on it, but he has some subtle behaviour that is sending some of your warning flags flapping. The truth of the matter is that some first impressions, no matter how fabulous, can be a lie. This isn’t a simple matter of a guy being on his best behaviour to try and impress you, it’s more of a matter of something being, well, not quite right. For some tips and clues for telling when that first impression is actually a lie, see below.

He’s well off, possibly even rich. The lie? He’s really a cheapskate, or drowning in debt. This guy has a fantastic car, tailored clothes, a Rolex watch and a taste for the finest wines. Clues this first impression is a lie – it’s too much. If you could see his underwear it would be designer, because this guy loves to spend, spend, spend, and his credit cards are maxed. Also sneak a peek at the check (of course he’ll pay) to see if he’s a cheap tipper, as this is a great way to see if he’s a cheapskate.

He’s got a great sense of humour. The lie? It’s only when he’s not the butt of the joke. This guy has an excellent sense of humour – about everything but himself. If he scowls or remains straight faced at even the lightest teasing, his sense of humour is not as great as he would like you to think it is. Many studies have shown women place a sense of humor high on the characteristics they desire most in a man, so he’s trying to move himself up on the chain for you.

He’s a gentleman. The lie? He’s really a pig. This guy has the most elegant manners you have ever encountered. He holds open doors, stands when you leave the table, listens to every word you say without interrupting, and seems almost too good to be true. Clues to watch for – wandering eyes. Do you catch him ogling other women when he thinks you aren’t looking, or do his eyes briefly touch on your breasts before making their way up? You may think you are imagining it but if your instinct tells you differently, you’re not.

He’s good looking and well-dressed. The lie? He’s actually obsessed with his appearance. He seems like your dream guy – those eyes, that smile, the way those jeans fit him. However, meticulous attention to detail may be a red flag for this guy. If he’s constantly touching his hair, fixing his shirt, maybe even checking his reflection in the bar mirror, he may be slightly obsessed with his appearance. Or even more than slightly obsessed.  

Sympatico Image

r_-_first_impressions_150x150.jpg

sallymurphy66@yahoo.com Author 29Secrets

8 responses to “When First Impressions Lie”

  1. Agreed.
    Sometimes we are just funny, polite, and well groomed. Please don’t slander men in general because you have had bad experiences with some.
    Also, I think it would be a mistake for any woman here to take this article too seriously. Allow me to quote another article on this site about common dating mistakes that women make:
    4. Being a dating curmudgeon
    We all go through phases when seems like our cities are completely devoid of anyone worthwhile. When we’re in that phase, it can be hard to not be critical of everyone we meet, and men tend to be “guilty until proven innocent,” which isn’t fair. Especially if we’ve been hurt by men in the past, women may automatically assume men want to use them or take advantage of them. It’s just a self-defense mechanism. Instead, when you meet someone new, try to give him a blank slate. Who knows – maybe he has a killer relationship with his mom, or is a total sweetheart to his three sisters.
    http://29secrets.com/sections/relationships/5-dating-mistakes-smart-girl
  2. Agreed.
    Sometimes we are just funny, polite, and well groomed. Please don’t slander men in general because you have had bad experiences with some.
    Also, I think it would be a mistake for any woman here to take this article too seriously. Allow me to quote another article on this site about common dating mistakes that women make:
    4. Being a dating curmudgeon
    We all go through phases when seems like our cities are completely devoid of anyone worthwhile. When we’re in that phase, it can be hard to not be critical of everyone we meet, and men tend to be “guilty until proven innocent,” which isn’t fair. Especially if we’ve been hurt by men in the past, women may automatically assume men want to use them or take advantage of them. It’s just a self-defense mechanism. Instead, when you meet someone new, try to give him a blank slate. Who knows – maybe he has a killer relationship with his mom, or is a total sweetheart to his three sisters.
    http://29secrets.com/sections/relationships/5-dating-mistakes-smart-girl
  3. Funny I never thought anyone could be so jaded. Good sense of humor, holding the door, dressing well – in this article these things are gunpowder deficiencies. I just have to voice the obvious: this article oozes the critique of a clearly discontent Sally Murphy. Sometimes, people really are just funny, polite, and well groomed… If Ms. Murphy never met such a man that’s her problem, I suggest she have a good cry with her friends and not in public; like cheap cologne her haughtiness is suffocating. I chose to comment on this “article” because women like Ms. Murphy enjoy stirring doubt about good men – and I am beyond tired of having google pop up such flake commentary on my laptop. Ms. Murphy, I pity you for your shallow view of good social etiquette and for your poor view of men’s intentions generally.
  4. There is no more “balance” in feminism then there is in male shovanism…They are both extremes… Equalitarianism is the only way to go…after all, we are all human, we all have flaws (the issue is usually accepting “our own” flaws)
    “Family violence, child abuse, and relationship malevolence is NOT gender specific…” I could not have said it better myself. If only everyone could come to terms with this.
  5. Jezzzz, turn the lens on the manipulators, the users, the cheats, skilled ‘victims’, and the liars with an ‘F’ on their driver’s license, too.
    The angelic just isn’t a female by default, get real… or this feminist blog not need to be balanced… just ‘entertainment’ for the delusional PC sista-hood?
    Family violence, child abuse, and relationship malevolence IS not gender specific.
    Blaming men results in little complaint… I just did.
  6. Funny I never thought anyone could be so jaded. Good sense of humor, holding the door, dressing well – in this article these things are gunpowder deficiencies. I just have to voice the obvious: this article oozes the critique of a clearly discontent Sally Murphy. Sometimes, people really are just funny, polite, and well groomed… If Ms. Murphy never met such a man that’s her problem, I suggest she have a good cry with her friends and not in public; like cheap cologne her haughtiness is suffocating. I chose to comment on this “article” because women like Ms. Murphy enjoy stirring doubt about good men – and I am beyond tired of having google pop up such flake commentary on my laptop. Ms. Murphy, I pity you for your shallow view of good social etiquette and for your poor view of men’s intentions generally.
  7. There is no more “balance” in feminism then there is in male shovanism…They are both extremes… Equalitarianism is the only way to go…after all, we are all human, we all have flaws (the issue is usually accepting “our own” flaws)
    “Family violence, child abuse, and relationship malevolence is NOT gender specific…” I could not have said it better myself. If only everyone could come to terms with this.
  8. Jezzzz, turn the lens on the manipulators, the users, the cheats, skilled ‘victims’, and the liars with an ‘F’ on their driver’s license, too.
    The angelic just isn’t a female by default, get real… or this feminist blog not need to be balanced… just ‘entertainment’ for the delusional PC sista-hood?
    Family violence, child abuse, and relationship malevolence IS not gender specific.
    Blaming men results in little complaint… I just did.

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