Stop Getting Burned By Breakups

Are you constantly blind-sided by breakups? Do you often get dumped right out of the clear blue? Do you take weeks or months to recover each time you end up unexpectedly back in the single lane?

If you answered yes to any of the above, it’s time be your own special victims unit. Take the following precautions against getting burned by your next hot lover:

STOP ignoring your gut
You have never seen his apartment, or met any of his friends, and he’s “putting in so many hours at work” that he can never make plans more than 12 hrs in advance. This isn’t your first rodeo, cowgirl, so go ahead and ask a few questions to satisfy your nagging concerns.

NEVER: Put your head in the sand or be afraid to inquire when something seems fishy.
WORST CASE SCENARIO: You find out that you’re not the only girl he’s seeing, 3 weeks into the relationship instead of 3 years.

DROP the blinders

Never place more importance on what he does for a living or what he buys for you, than how much time he actually spends with you. Whether he’s the only resident on-call at Seattle Grace Hospital, or executive assistant to a VIP more demanding than P. Diddy; if he wants to see you, he will make time for you.

NEVER: Be satisfied with promises and extravagant gifts instead of his physical presence.
WORST CASE SCENARIO: Dating him was lonelier than being single, so when you realize that he’s married (to his work). throw yourself happily back in the dating scene on your own terms.

ROLL with his cues

His phone only seems to get half of the text messages you send, but he receives and responds to 100% of the messages others send when you’re together. He is never available to join your gang for apré¨s-work drinks, and is vague when you try to plan any further into the future than your next meal.

NEVER: Behave any differently than he does, always mirror his level of commitment and nothing more.
WORST CASE SCENARIO: You only ever had a toenail’s worth of investment in him, so when you find out he’s not as recently separated from his wife as he said, you can end it with your ego completely intact.

What’s the worst you have ever been burned by a guy you were in love with? What did you learn from that experience?

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Tags: blind-sided, blinders on, break-ups, can't commit, cheating, comcerns, commitment phobe, dumped, extravangant gifts, gut instincts, he's married, precautions, putting you off, Seattle Grace Hospital, Shannon Christie, single again

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Comments

- Anonymous
- January 1, 1970
Reply
I totally disagree with this. Girls should have to make an effort and can’t expect to be my number one priority right off the bat. If you want someone with a job, you have to expect that they work long hours sometimes.
- Anonymous
- January 1, 1970
Reply
Learn to expect nothing! The hardest part of having a great date is learning how to go home and not think about it. The laughs, the way he touched your back, that last kiss. These moments can take over your thoughts and the next thing you know, you are picturing your future ‘love’ together. Many guys however, are trained on how to make you feel this way, and it can be the biggest burn when you think everything is so perfect and things don’t go as you ‘planned’. I’ve learned its best to not think ahead, because it takes time to really get to know a person. Not everyone is as perfect as they may seem.
- Anonymous
- January 1, 1970
Reply
I totally disagree with this. Girls should have to make an effort and can’t expect to be my number one priority right off the bat. If you want someone with a job, you have to expect that they work long hours sometimes.
- Anonymous
- January 1, 1970
Reply
Learn to expect nothing! The hardest part of having a great date is learning how to go home and not think about it. The laughs, the way he touched your back, that last kiss. These moments can take over your thoughts and the next thing you know, you are picturing your future ‘love’ together. Many guys however, are trained on how to make you feel this way, and it can be the biggest burn when you think everything is so perfect and things don’t go as you ‘planned’. I’ve learned its best to not think ahead, because it takes time to really get to know a person. Not everyone is as perfect as they may seem.