The initial reaction after a breakup can be a feeling of freedom or emptiness. For a lot of girls who ended up investing a lot into the relationship, this time could serve as somewhat of an identity crisis. Confusion clouds our minds as we have lost sight of who we are as an individual. We have forgotten what made us happy before this relationship. So we may drink the nights away to forget or be quick to crawl into another man’s bed to cure the loneliness. Before jumping to solutions we might later regret, here are some suggestions for healthy ways to heal.
Focus on friendship
Remember those great friends you used to always hang out with? You know…the same ones you cancelled on a few times in the last few months because your boyfriend got you last minute tickets to the Taylor Swift concert or insisted on seeing you the same night you had made plans to watch a movie with the girls? Well, they’re still there (I hope) and they probably miss you. Going from a committed relationship with a boy back to singlehood can really make you re-evaluate what or who’s important in your life.
Being on your own is a great time to continue to foster friendships and make new ones. These friends will be there for you during this difficult time to smother you with hugs and make you laugh when you feel like crying. Your friends are also helpful for reminding you of the person you used to be before all this heartbreak and drama took over your life. Immediately after a breakup, it’s tempting to find another man to replace the one you just lost. But until you are happy with yourself, you won’t be happy with someone else. Find comfort in your friends and don’t let one failed relationship ruin another. Use this time to strengthen the good relationships you have and let those relationships strengthen you. Your last romantic relationship may have ended, but friendships are built to last.
Delete his number
Have you ever heard the expression “Out of sight, out of mind”? Well it applies perfectly here. A lot of women feel they need closure after their relationship has ended. They want to get back in touch with their ex to see if there’s still something there; to see if they really made the right choice. But really, what they need is space. They need space to clear their heads and calm down their emotions that have gone into overdrive. If he tries to contact you, ignore him. Don’t entertain any thoughts he might have until you are completely confident with what you want for yourself. On top of deleting his number from your phone, also delete his e-mail address, unfriend him on Facebook, get rid of all your pictures together and any other mementos that remind you of him. By de-cluttering your room and technological devices of “him,” you will be able to focus more on yourself and less on the “us” that used to be you and him.
Not only is an active lifestyle physically good for you, it’s mentally stimulating. When we work out, our body releases endorphins that make us feel good. Regularly working out allows your body to produce a feeling a well-being. If you can begin a workout routine and stick it to it, not only will you notice results in the mirror, you will feel better about yourself. Exercising is also a great way to take your mind off things and focus on a new goal you want to achieve.
Take up a hobby
What are some of those things you’ve thought about trying but decided against because you were too busy planning out your future with your boyfriend? Whether it be rock-climbing or learning an instrument, invest some time in something you are interested in and focus on excelling in that. When you feel like you have mastered something you’ve always wanted to do, you will begin to feel more in control of your life rather than feeling bound by the emotional turmoil of post-breakup.